Senior Prom

I felt scared
he threw something at me
what was it that he threw?
he was raging
I had cheated on him
with my ex-boyfriend
it was senior prom...
the only dance I ever went to

I felt tired
and I was scared
he expected us to "make love"
because it was prom
and he was my boyfriend
he yelled and threw something
but I said (sarcastically)
"go ahead"

I felt raped
imprisoned in the situation
when he went ahead
because I told him to
"do what he needed to do"
and he did
because I just laid there in tears
why didn't I say no?

I felt triumphant
when he stopped
because I asked the question
"are you done yet?"
because it was hurting me
that was a terrible night
curled into a ball on my side of the bed
unable to sleep

Author notes

I am writing this poem about my senior prom. It was the only school dance that I ever went to. I was so excited. The school rented a boat to cruise around in. We had dinner and dancing. I only danced one dance because I was fighting with my boyfriend at the time. I had slept with my ex-boyfriend and he found out that night.

We went back to his room he was renting in a house. We continued fighting. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever had. To this day, I regret my inability to say no or to tell him to take me home. I stayed and even let him have sex with me while I cried.