i remember you
the way one recalls a dream
in vignettes and blurred faces
small parts of you diluted
in an ocean of nights
a form of homeopathy
an imaginary ground of being
the syntax
of a now dead language
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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"I remember you..."
don't ask why, but these three little words
made it for me...It put a bit of vulnerability
into the poem, and I like that. Love, Lane
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foundationally fit, AJ. makes a grainy portion of eratic tendrils shrivel in the shadow.
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you use a language that breathes, talks, sings and dances, m'friend... very much alive, indeed...
- namita
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memories ooze through the hazy drug fog.
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drugs ooze through the hazy fog of memory...
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Well, I suspect whoever "you" is would have something of a curled brow and think to herself, "Hey! Wait a minute." I mean, whatever memories I leave with past relationships, or past semi-relationships, or past friends for who I might have been a momentary (and even inopportune) "benefit," I hope they aren't comparing me to a septic image of medical treatment.
It's not that I don't think I am probably deserving of the metaphor of homeopathy, and/or unworthy of having exposited the syntax of a dead language. However, I prefer to think I was the fever behind any disease, and that there was no treatment. Alternatively, if I am the syntax of a dead language, at least let it be Latin because I have affinities both for Italians and Catholic girls...
You know me, I like putting the "us" in "somnus" in the expression "permissum nos somnus una" (my Latin is a little rusty, so I hope I wrote that correctly).
I mean, I am polite and always thinking of my partner too, after all.
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beautifully penned!
I love;
"small parts of you diluted
in an ocean of nights"
brilliant lines.
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a nice mix of imagery & depth of thought. I really can picture the 'vignette' images in this...I love the lines:
"small parts of you diluted
in an ocean of nights"
So many ways to take the word 'ground' in this, I feel.
yes..there is no order to the way our memories are, compared to when they actually happened.
I really like this
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Nice analogy, I always thought of old loves as old books to be treasured, some in English, some Etruscan, most in between somewhere.
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Excellent al, it's all good to me.
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yes, i remember this poem from the layers of this emotion within my life...this poem has a wonderful sense of "all" in it meaning everyone will be able read this one and remember.
great work, al
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The first two parts: perfect. The rest almost perfect. Either way, makes this a great poem.
-Nam
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I like the choice of words in this poem. It portrayed powerful imagery. I especially liked the second stanza. It seemed metaphorical, like a person changing in personality over night. I'm not sure if that was what you were going for or not in this piece. This was very well written. Thanks for sharing.
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dead language?
really? when images like this are possible?
i don't believe it.
good stuff here maynard
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maynard?...lol
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AJ, I like the stark presentation of white and black and the lower case, it adds to the impression that nothing matters but The Word and the lower case equalizes each word, compounding that none has more importance than another but are inter-dependant upon each other. Very much liked the reference to homeopathy, a natural remedy, treating like with like,the diluting within the dark of the night is giving part back to the earth and retaining the other. Bravo.
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outstanding...
clear and concise -
beautiful poetry
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I agree with Suzi, this is alive and beautiful in the small nuances of pain and grounding... like stones washed on the river bed, they aren't dead, they are a scoop of pebble and smoothed out by life and water; alike
sigh worthy this one Al
sigh
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i love the way you've used "vignette" here, the little snapshots of a time now gone, a language "now dead". But the poetry is alive here on this page, Al...wonderful.
~ Nicolette
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can't be dead if this poem exists, and it does exist beautifully.
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