Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

like water over sand

 


i want to mark the chapters of your body
with my tongue, letter by letter
write the alphabet of lip
and hip each on different pages
so i can read you there
for a long time.
i want this in the same way
as i want to populate your mouth
with kisses –
it is the same -
the way a clown fish will come
to a sea anemone around full moon
when it’s time to spawn,
fluttering and fluttering its fins in delight;
the way the tide will rise, seeking
to climb up over the naked sand, and pause,
pull back and climb back up again –


time after time the moan-refrain
of water over sand

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

speaks for itself, i reckon...: nature shows us that to love and to make love is natural (at any age)!


In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 77 of 77
  • Good book, eh?
    Elegantly sensual write... reading slowly, yes.
    And the anemone image is perfect here.
    moan-refrain.... very creative.


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Boffo!

    Love this to pieces.
    Delicate, smooth and consistent.
    And that strong opening line.


  • Antonio Valentino
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dear Nicolette, this was very beautiful and endearing, you have a wonderful way about you. Thank you for the smile this gave me, I'm not sure if I can pay you back for that.

    Antonio


  • peridotPixi
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the beautiful entry to my contest,
    I really love the way you have taken this poem and made it sensual with the details of the water over the sand, I like how you want to populate the mouth with kisses that part is really cute, I love the wonderful comparison you have used here like the clown fish, as always keep up the wonderful writing, ~ Amy

  • wendymolly
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    not sure what is up with the honorables, these thoughts are GOLD!!!! ...and again, you make me want to be a better writer!!!!
    take care always,
    ~pithyAplomb.

  • wendymolly
    June 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "of water over sand." as timeless as an inhalation called, "infinite".


  • ellipsist
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    incredibly beautiful and has a wonderful accuracy to it - the way you have captured the sensual climb of the tide upon the sand... lovely and subtly, tastefully, intrinsically erotic...


  • ladame
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm impressed - quite abstract, quite wonderful. I love completely off-beat ideas that really show love in a new light. It's crazy how sexy, and beautiful the image of the fish is to me - there's a real sense of tone that I appreciate very much.

    I adore the opening stanza/half, and its odd and beautiful confusion which really appeals to me.

    Thank you so much for sharing this awesome piece.
    x


  • pine-needles
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love the image of the water beginning to
    "climb up over the naked sand, and pause,
    pull back and climb back up again –

    time after time the moan-refrain
    of water over sand"
    its absolutely gorgeous.

    "populate your mouth with kisses"
    is also strikingly creative and evokes quite an image.

    the rest is still obviously carefully chosen and crafted with your clear eye and ear, i can tell its well done but just doesn't really speak to me, doesn't grab me the way those lines do, not that there's anything wrong with it, just dulled by standing beside such brilliant lines and images.

    in any case, a great pleasure to read, as always.


  • Nicolette gold member
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think nature is the best metaphor for the human "conditions" . Thank you, Mari


  • mayaa
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you combine nature and love together so beautifully and present such lovely poetry. this one is another example of that talent you possess. so very sensual.


    mari


  • Beating gold member
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow! That piece is just so sensual, loving and peaceful! Almost like a dream. Amazing imagery and descriptive sentences. Good job!


  • james119
    May 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    measured passion...

    lovely flow, patient and heartwarming.

    The imagery is so pleasant here. The clown fish is my favorite.
    It's excellent.

  • dx d by me
    May 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am most impressed by the consistant and delightful manner in which the 'natural" world we live in and experience, so eloquently elicites a sensual experience. The secret, I think is, the movement and , the rythm that sourrounds us, allows an undercurrent of sensuality is most everything we do. For certian, you recognize, and know the secret! I love the effect of this piece. Geo

    • Nicolette gold member
      May 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, Geo. Yes, i guess the rhythm and movement and light around us are all "sensual" to a certain degree. You are spot on with that!


  • SerenityNChains gold member
    May 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is no less than firey and passionate. It holds the longing of loins, in the hush of the incoming waves. You left me with my mouth slightly agape;yet smiling. I leave this write with a slight blush, and an even more profound awe of the woman that you are.

    Blessed be,
    Billie Jean


  • buffsab99
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Wonderfully descriptive write. You have painted a picture in my mind of something beautiffuly sensual.


  • Leslie gold member
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    God... you make love sounds so beautiful, well at least the way you always love, I can get tired of reading you, its like opening my loving senses all over again....


  • Mr Vertigo
    May 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well this is rather hot.


  • Namita
    May 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      .... i love the calla lily...my kinda flower that, Namita


  • Kram
    May 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    reflections

    reflections in a concvex mirror ..a wide area in a little space....xpressed well ....


  • Oisin silver member
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Watching the water temp and tease the sand, to see the sand chase after the water, the body of one wanting, craving lost within the movement of the other, impressive. With the reference to the alphabet the infinity of symbols, of love

    you are incredible with words.


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      SO love your comment, Scott - you said exactly what i wanted to show in this poem. Thanks, my friend...


  • Elora Danon gold member
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Two more months until mine comes back. It's the longest we've ever been apart (6 months). This makes me ache for him


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Oh yes, I know.... but just think of the reunion, Becky...... Thanks, dear


  • layla.
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    omg!!! this is sooo.... sigh... teheheheh...


  • Ladybug
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aaahhh, yeauh can you do that to me, or do I have to be a fish?
    dang I need some lemonade now.
    I am freezing and it is hot outside, LOL

    Tamara


  • RadioPJ
    April 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Quite delicious, wonderful, and evocative. I'll never look at the ocean the same way again!


  • Mark McNulty
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Quite a hot little write you have here! Wow! The metaphor of the tide repeatedly climbing over the sand... very impressive. This is such a wonderfully sensual piece. Excellent work on a job well done. It was highly enjoyable to read and I am glad I came across it.

    All my Best...

    Mark

    • Nicolette gold member
      April 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Mark. You know, seeing your name now just reminded me that one of South Africa's most successfull golf players is also named "Mark McNulty" - family of yours?


  • klassy lassy
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I reckon! ...mesmerizing sense of dance and delight.

    Sigh... now where's that shingle? "Gone Fishing"

    ...utterly captivating poetry, Nicci.


  • katfair
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you captivated me from the very first line to the last,
    each and every single word metaphor lingering,
    fluttering my own fins in delight
    at this pause: to klimtdelicousness
    to the way we become lovers
    if we allow the water

    of ourselves

    kat

  • Shannon
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, that's beautiful! The image of the clown fish just made me smile. So uniquely your poem. What a great image of the fish coming, retreating...

    It's funny, the clown fish was my favorite as a kid. lol, but that's a side note.

    Gorgeous poem, as always.

  • Virgoan
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ah...very refreshing in its beauty.

    *deep sigh*

    this is wonderful and excellent Nic, your voice is sound and penetrating to the thoughts.

    one of my favorite pieces from you

    Thanks for sharing and keep writing.

    HENSLEY


  • marc creamore
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh so astounding and utterly beautiful!!!!!! Poet, your words are a blessing to all who read them!


  • Jersene gold member
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    sigh...this does speak for itself. I love the last two lines.

  • Rowan gold member
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yes, it does.
    So lovely, hon.


  • leander Moderators member
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    to populate your mouth with kisses truly is one of the best metaphors I have ever came across with dear friend.
    A beautiful love poem you have written here, that indeed speaks for itself


  • IronIcecream
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    usually I’d…
    but I’ve been blessed with otitis
    feels like a tooth ache without the tooth
    and I can’t say a another thing
    pseudo here there and no way
    I do pseudo everything


  • Heart Sutra
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ah yes, Nicolette, I believe all the world would be surrounded with lovers if they read your poetry.

    beautiful

  • Namita
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG. You're the bestest poet on EARTH!! This is sooo beautiful. One day, I shall tie you up and steal all your poetry.

    This is gorgeous.

    - namita

    • Nicolette gold member
      April 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      you know how to make me chuckle, don't you Namita?! Thank you ...we're going to tie each other up a lot i see!


  • inder silver member
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    washes away

    moan-refrain....
    let me get over this one


  • Cannonsfire
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It speaks volumes Not an explanation necessary Love, C

  • tara wilson gold member
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE this so much..lol

    as always, an excellent read & very creative metaphors...it is always a pleasure to read your poetry, Nic


  • Yvette Champ gold member
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dearest Poetess, I may never find adequate words to praise your Pure Poetry, your words are said sotto voce and yet make such an impression. Sensual, loving and yet light filled language, loved this in it's entirety. Outstanding and a pleasure, a real pleasure to read and feel.


  • arafura gold member
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning imagery... You write of love with such skill and passion! Beautiful! Good luck in the contest!


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "to climb up over the naked sand, and pause,
    pull back and climb back up again –


    time after time the moan-refrain
    of water over sand"


    Oh my Nicky, *sigh* gives me goose bumps. Such a deeply sensual and romantic penning, really nice! Best of luck in the contest dear. *sigh*


  • PageTurner
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply



    It sure does speak for itself
    and you, and your wonderful world of words...



    ...Sighhh!



    Delectably Demonstrative, my Friend.

    ~ Nicky♥


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yep, i reckon it does ... this poetry is so playful and full of humor and the light moon sounds within the deep sea even in the burn of southern sea crisp light that I felt like jumping into the nearest pond I could find, clothes on and all, and challenge the nearest female snapping turtle to find a more lively way to spend a blue and yellow afternoon, but, not with me, with that fisherman over there ... ..

    how did you do that? I have trying trying to capture that image in you final lines forever, like forever and ever ...

    lines 3 and four and 5, set the tone and this poem is very similar to the way a conga drum solo maker feels when he watches a couple lie in the grass, listening to him, but singing with their bodies to each other

    but I drone on, so suffice it to say that, yep, I reckon this poem speaks for itself and for lots of other, those lucky and those finding and those being ... just so

    It is sexy as all get out

    • Nicolette gold member
      April 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lolol at those "female snapping turtles" Danni...rather choose a pond with less dangerous females . Thanks, my friend...your comments are always a treat


  • Mari Goes gold member
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I just mentioned sand and feet dancing a hot foxtrot
    here are lips and bodies that dance a special tango

    Words full of passion, can only leave us with a deep sigh...

    veel kusjes
    Mari


    • Nicolette gold member
      April 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Baie dankie, Mari (how does one say that in Dutch?... "vele dank"?)


  • Night Hope gold member
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "time after time the moan-refrain
    of water over sand"

    {whimpers & slinks away, trembling} Good God, Woman. How very dare you, indeed...In deed. Hmmm...I know one of these fine evenings, I shall have to watch the exploding starlight in southern skies. Good luck in Gill's contest...everyone else. Vlindertjie

    • Nicolette gold member
      April 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Why is everybody running away tonight? .... jaaaa watch the skies and the beaches, lol. Thank you, Vlindertjie


      • Night Hope gold member
        April 27, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        We're probably all lookin' for Guy's clones. Heyyy, just don't start any travelin' earthquakes, 'k???


  • Heath Thompson
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yet another cracking poem. Reminds me a little of the rather marvellous Medbh McGuckian


  • Dienush
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, yes it does speak for itself, I love how loving and sensual this is... Very easy to feel with all my senses, in my mind. Lovely work. I especially enjoyed the beginning and ending of this.


    • Nicolette gold member
      April 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Diana - glad you enjoyed this and great to see you again


  • Allyce May gold member
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, I see what's happening here! *Sneaks back out*

    Heh heh, it is, of course, amazing and original poetry; not dragged down by cliches and tediousness. SUPURB!

    ><

    • Nicolette gold member
      April 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply


      i told you to knock before entering your parents' room, Allyce

      Thank you.... guess i'm just "hungry", lol!!

  • Suzanne Dia
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is naughty!!!

    But beautiful


  • And Hyetal
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • misselaineous
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    sensual imagery
    luscious words
    written with panache
    and skill

    wonderful

1 - 77 of 77