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Sweet Darlin'

Fingertips of ice
Lay in my blood red hands
Your eyes show more than just pain

The things I've said and done
Through silent words and actions
I did them all for you

Please, hold me away from these innocent bodies
"It was worth it."
So turn off your crying eyes

Sweet Darlin', have I proved it to you now?
The final sacrifice
To show you just what you mean

A kiss from you
My lips too numb to know
That It'd be my last

Sweet Darlin'
Did it help you understand?
The true meaning of anything?

Hold me tighter. My last words need close ears
"I'll be guiding you."
Now I lay. Another casualty.

"No, I won't be watched."
"By knife, I will see you."
"Death shall not part us."

Author notes

Love this. Almost cried when I wrote it.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Angelflower
    June 22, 2008

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    This was a lovely poem.. I mean it reminded me of like a Romeo and Juliet situation..lol.. But thats a good thing me thinks.. The flow and imagery was really vivid and sweet.. I enjoyed this very much.. best of luck..


    Angel


  • Voodoo Eyes
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice last liner. Very good emotion. The flow was good. Nice write. Thanks for entering!

  • luvdrkchocolate
    May 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh. This is kind of a sad little poem that you have going on here. You know what it makes me think of? Romeo and Juliet and all the passion and sorrow that surrounded thier life and thier love. Lestways, that's what it sounded like to me. I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself.

  • Bob Fox
    May 31, 2008

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    Intriging piece

    almost reads like the end of a novel where he confesses on his/hers deathbed. I can say this it took a great ability to come up with this fine piece


  • raynora
    May 30, 2008

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    It keeps the readers attention the whole way through and keeps them guessing ^^ It's a really decent poem =)


  • xxvampyregirlxx
    May 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice poem!!


  • in silver script
    May 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Very, very good. I love this so much. Thank you for entering.


  • Dienush
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry

    I like this too. It's not the kind of poetry I usually read but it's very good. I enjoy how it's so intense and so vague... I mean, there is undeniably a whole lot of various emotion here, and yet the meaning per se is up to interpretation. Love it. Simple words, but such a deep meaning. Keep writing.

    ~Diana


  • bexy
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow really enjoyed reading this piece from beginning to end


  • SilverMoonFeathers
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Just wow. This is a really great poem.
    I understand what you said in this poem,
    It made me a breatheless. It was intense especially in the end.
    Great job. I love this poem, like my friend below i'm not sure why either.

    Excellent!

    I also hope to see more from you.


    ~-->{Silky}


  • Night FireWolf
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Heh, thanks. I try. ^_

  • Shadow Darkstar
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow. I know what you mean.
    I'm speechless. I liked this, a lot.
    And yet I can't place my finger on exactly why...
    Very nicely done.
    I hope to see more from you.

    - Ice Phoenix -
    [Mell]

1 - 12 of 12