The cold light of day,
That’s your cue to run
The passion burned its over
It was just a bit of fun
Don’t look at me with eyes like that
You know you can not stay
I can’t let you close to me
You know that’s not my way.
You say that I’m diamond, yes,
if you mean my hearts a stone,
You're never in side it
I was born to be alone.
You say that I must be in love
You have read all the signs
I’m sorry babe to tell this
I don’t write between the lines.
Why do women fall for me?
This isn’t a disguise
I make them no promises
pretend or tell them lies.
You may think I’m being nasty
But I’m honest and I’m true
I wont let you get close to me
Because I’ll never say I do.
Author notes
option 4
A contest entry
- 5 OPTION -- Prewrites allowed by Florida Sunshine.
525 points, ended July 29, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - When the one you WANT doesn't want YOU by Re-invention.
600 points, ended August 30, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I like the poem. I can see you took the guy side as did I. The rhyme and flow are great. I think you are missing a word in the first line of the 5th stanza. Otherwise it is nice and cold hearted.
Mike
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( forgot to add a constructive comment
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you missed out a word btw
thought to give you a heads up.. I had to re read this again because I wanted to take it in the two ways you give out.
I can see your use of rhyme is pretty and simple and thta some of your verses indeed jolt into my personal thought... the fact that you use diamond as a rough metaphor makes that stanza cope with my own heart indeed.
thanks once again for thid!
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I can see you took over the guy part and well I have to say -I don not know if this is the real you or not, but no ofense- this is self- centered and probably ignorant. I can see the point of view you bring and I can examine exactly what you explain.. I guess you're right in such part but you should never close your heart for it will be reprived over and over until once again you become cold and grumpy...
but than kyou for sharing your thought and/or comparison to his version it is very well thanked. -
This is really quite sad.... but I love it... because there are a lot of girls/woman who look at someone and think they can 'change' them or they will feel differently.
The reason it's so sad is because the person is alone in more ways than not having the person that loves them at their side.
"You say that I’m diamond, yes,
if you mean my hearts a stone,
You're never in side it
I was born to be alone."I pray someday you meet a diamond cutter.... Who knows... Maybe someone might just break through the midde/heart of that diamond and reach a part you didn't think could be touched.
This is an excellent write! The rhythm & rhyme is written so well, that your words hide them within the emotion. I actually had to go back to make sure that I read it correctly.
Thanks for sharing your work with me... This is the 'reality check' of poetry if I ever read any. Bravo on that!
Thanks for entering this...into the contest -- It was a pleasure to read.
Best of luck to you!
Florida Sunshine B)
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Nice! I haven't heard a love poem like this yet, so you did well at capturing my interest. Usually this subject is taken from the other point of view, but you are the one pushing away love so it's interesting.
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Awesome
This is one of the best poems I've read in a long time
The rhymes were truly amazing
The idea rocked
The words were awesome
The imagery, was well, fantastic
I'm running out of things to say were really really good, so I'm just going to say this
THE ENTIRE POEM WAS AMAZING, ROCKIN, AWESOME, FANTASTIC, WELL-WRITTEN, AND FANTASTICAL (if it is a word)
Loved it loved it loved it
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a good poem, ah so many have said in their lives i will never say i do etc yet then they meet someone who they fall head over heels in love with and find themselves walking down the aisle
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Good
good points from the male side of this mask we call life.. if only honesty were true, there would be no problems than...
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This is awesome!!! "typical man" Why do women fall for these types!?! Classic though, huh. This is very well written! Flows great, emotion filled, and unfortunately very relateable! Bravo!
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Wow, seems very heartfelt. I like "I don't write between the lines" - I don't think honesty is ever overated. If asked, I would say you wrote exactly what you were feeling. Good poem!
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