Everyday i wake up i feel okay, but i dont look forward to the day, i just try to get by. i go to school i want to be liked i try and walk with friends and talk with friends so as to not be mocked and made fun of for being a weird kid with no friends. Yet these are friends that i dont even know how theyll treat me each day. I dont know if theyll like me or if i will like them each day. im feeling like i need to go out with this girl. ive told her i liked her only to tell her i was kidding the next day before she ever had a chance to respond. All i do is hear her talk about this other guy, all the while its hurting me inside, yet i smile and joke with her and dont let her know how i really feel. my moods are constantly changing, i feel the need to be liked by those who hate me, and am angry to those who like me. i dont even know who i am. i act different with every single person i know in the entire world. and i am always troubled unsure of what to do.
i dont know what to do now.
A contest entry
- SOLITARY by rainwalker.
450 points, ended April 29, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I can feel the confusion, hurt and anger of this piece, you do get your feelings across to the reader in very clear language. I do have a few suggestions though. This is set up in one big paragraph/blob and I would really like to see it spaced out a bit more, in a more poetic form. It really makes this seem more like prose when it is set up this way. If you were to separate it in a few places it might help get across that there is a definite flow to the piece and will help the reader by giving some pauses and the like. For example:
Everyday i wake up i feel okay,
but i dont look forward to the day.
I just try to get by.
I go to school i want to be liked,
I try and walk with friends and talk with friends.
So as to not be mocked and made fun of
for being a weird kid...
with no friends.
This is only a suggestion though and you could use the separations in different places, just trying to help!
Thank you for sharing this piece with us and keep on writing!
-Laura
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a true vent of your feelings
This is an anthem for every kid your age. These are feelings everybody gets inside when they reach the age of 12 and 13. Our insides are changing, our views on life are changing. We see things differently than we did as small children and it all seems confusing, frustrating, scary and deeply angering. It makes us question a lot of things. Who we are inside, where we're going, what we're doing, who we're going to be, what we want in life and so on. Nothing can really change that but talking about it with people who know, trust and love can help. Not keeping the feeling bottled up inside us but letting it come out; if not through talking, at least some other safe action like writing. This poem is a good example. You vent your feelings and that's a healthy thing. Keep it up. I'm sorry things are confusing for you right now and you have many more confusing years ahead but have no fear. Keep your chin high and do your best to live life the best you can without being down on yourself. Talk about your feelings and never deny them.
Brian
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