I watched you cry, I watched you die
With every battle won and lost
I couldn’t understand your eyes
but God knows I have felt the cost
Your anger locked so deep inside
expecting me to know your pain
I was too young, but still I tried
those aches of failure still remain.
You couldn’t hide the raw despair
the pleas for help you never spoke.
I was a child but had to care
though I knew trying meant I’d choke
on tears like yours, the killing kind
from solitude beyond all hope;
and in the end knew I’d find
a new let down and try to cope.
And now sometimes when I lay down
my soul to rest before the fray
I’m helpless, broken and I drown
in this inherited dismay.
I couldn’t bring you back to life
I wasn’t worthy of your smiles
you were a mother, were a wife
unreachable across the miles.
But still I ache for your embrace
the laughter you once shared
I long to look into your face
and think that just maybe you cared.
A grown up woman, now I fight
the same ghosts that you fought
and in the strangle of the night
I still don’t know what you had sought.
I miss you still when I feel weak
when life becomes too real, too true
but even now, when we both speak
the verses still come down to you…
and I still hurt from somewhere I can’t find.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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the struggle of life with so much helplessness and sorrow bringing a deep sigh with tear filled eyes is reflected here...lovely poem
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HI:
This is such a sad piece I can relate to, depression is such a terrible thing to go through, and being a child trying to understand what is going on is even worse.....
I suffer of depression now, and maybe throughout my life I have had this, just didn't know.....
This piece is very intense and emotion is felt throughout, [also thought provoking, because I hope and pray I never ever hurt -EMOTIONALLY- my children, they have never told me so, but, one never knows for sure]
Thank you very much for sharing with me on this site.....
Blessed be with love, light and all things good always.....
AngelicMistress...Tanya
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The emotion was intense in this piece, very personally penned in such a beautiful manner. Line after line I read and began to capture only a pinch of what you could've dealt with through all of that with your mother. She sounds as if she were a very loving and amazing woman, and I'm sure she was. There's only so much I can say about something like this, because I don't believe I could give it the praise that it's truly do, but I thank you for entering and I wish you good luck.
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This is beautifully written, with the emotion coming through so strong and clearly. It's ironic to me, but I can relate to this in a mirrored way, everything backwards...my mom went through a depression after my brother died and before I was even born, to the point where they considered shock treatments. My older siblings remember how she was at that time, whereas I only remember her happy and loving. I'm so grateful for that, especially after reading your poem.
There was also a moment after just the first 3 stanzas, where I felt this could be about one of my uncles who suffered a stroke and is no longer able or willing to communicate.
I don't really like to critique poetry that is so intensely personal, but one line read just a tad bit awkwardly to me:
"and think that just maybe you cared." Maybe something like... "and think just maybe you did care" instead? Other than that, this is perfectly penned IMO. Thanks so much for sharing...it seems like (and I hope this was) a very cathartic write.
Good luck and best wishes,
~J.
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