I'm an echo in your ear
that cannot be silenced,
insatiable.
I whisper profanities to you
and suggest questionable things
yet you smile at these thoughts
and with tender flesh and green haze
i tempt your eager mind,
You wish to learn and I wish to teach
is this not a match made in heaven?
I do like to think so.
I give you dark gifts and you cage yourself
this is not a way for a king to act
sire,
please unlock the door and accept these gifts
spread your wings
grow into the beautiful flower you were born to be,
my king, my lord.
Ah you have already begun, I've sprouted in the back of your mind
we have become each other
forming one mind,
now let us bathe in the misjudged waters,
as we know their true brilliance.
Author notes
in your author notes, paste in this line so i know you read everything
A contest entry
- Quote Inspired. [10 Entries] by Naridill.
525 points, ended May 3, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Soo I said " Tell me about the evil inside you"..[whats your dark side] by Stripes.
400 points, ended October 10, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sadistic Intent by Synthetic-Nightmare.
1200 points, ended January 6, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Wow.....
i must say, this is very interestingly written. I love how you combined personalities to create madness and insanity.
Congrats on the write and thanks so much for your entry. Could i ask you to do me one favor? Could you fix your author's note so i can count this entry and message me when you have done so? Thanks a lot, hun
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Good write with two characters. Thank you for your entry in the contest.
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Hello.
This does have more than a passing resemblance to mine. I do like this, and the character has quite a Machiavellian feel to it, a good choice in my opinion. Always on the shoulder, always offering his 'insight'. I think you can explore this more in my humble opinion, but after the length of mine, I would say that, hahaha. Good work man.
My regards.
Edit: I came back to take your name out seeing as this is in some contests. Nice one.
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wow this is really good i like the style of it everything about it is good great job
thanx for entering -
righteous! this is awesome!!!!!!! I love the flow of this piece...very very well done!!!!
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AWesome write, I really like the begining, "You wish to learn and I wish to teach, is this not a match made in heaven? i do like to think so." Love that part, well done. Thanx for entering and good luck!
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THIS IS METAPHORICAL, IM STRUGGLING TO UNDERSTAND IT BUT A LOT OF NICE IMAGES PRESENTED HERE, FOR THAT FACT I LIKED IT
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I like the idea of this one.
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this is very good it seems like it could be longer
great write and thanx for entering my contest
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Thoroughly interesting, and a fabulous idea. Nicely sustained, and not too long - holding the attention to the end. I think that the dynamic seems to crescendo at the end, intensity is great.
Thanks very much Ladame
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"...now let us bathe in the misjudged waters,
as we know it's true brilliance."
really sums up the piece. either we make friends with our demons or we're in for an unchosen, chaotic ride. thanks.
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fantastic, well done! very evil - wish you could or would b/g them, it does so help...
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Minor problems
suggesting to suggest -
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Woops, thanks, strange every time i read the damn thing i thought suggest
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it is spooky like that
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woooooooooooooooooooooooooo ! this is truely a brilliant poem ~ spooky with suspence
thank you so very much for entering and best wishes in the contest ,
your friend and fan ,
alex hex -
I like this style you have given - it's unique, the phrasing and mood sets a scene to rip shreds yet be so beautiful inbetween.
Thanks for entering,
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