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Breath & Vision

Primrose breath soaks the air,
veiled caress on worn skin.
I seek your soothing presence
beneath silver witch's moon.

Your whispered serenades
pull my obedient heart
through the moonstone curls
of midnight's April haze.

To core of pulsing light
sewn with verdant floral lace,
behind which hawk feather quills
outline the air in visions.

There my soul sees your shivering life
hidden behind sage's willow bark,
spirit born to be loved
with tender breaths of adoration.

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Comments


  • Blue Rew silver member
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful how well each line seems to reflect
    the title given. And too, you weave in several
    elements assigned to this being. I do spot a
    few minor edits as follows:
    "obedient" is misspelled

    "There my souls sees your shivering life" where
    souls should not be plural
    "with tender breaths of adorations" where
    adoration should not be plural
    I do admire the way the piece begins and ends
    with "breath". The whole write seems filled
    with the presence of something alive & awesome.
    Blue


    • DayDreamMuse
      April 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Blue! It formed in my head ina matter of seconds. Incredibly easy and I had to jot it down fast and well I see my awesome speed brought mistakes again. Thanks for pointing them out.