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Falling down the drain

Cold and tense
It hurts to feel this much;
To kill time is to drink
Life down with a glass of whiskey
Smooth as can be, and numb
Darkness floods this mind of mine

Tell me if you can see what I see yet

The swirl of that water down a rusty drain
Is that a life?

Tell me if you see it yet?

No

I thought so

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Comments


  • Eruvande Almare
    May 30

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    I thought I'd comment since you were so very nice in the cb! anyway, I like the imagery especially of "Smooth as can be, and numb, Darkness floods this mind of mine" very vivid and nicely written. I like how the lines vary and there is no pattern, it adds to the overall effectiveness of the piece. Well glad I stopped by, and I hope you post more dear poet! Keep up the good work and never stop writing!



    ~Elizabeth~


  • McRae by nature
    January 10

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    I like the way you write. This piece is refined and mature, and wrought with bitterness. Very good images as well. You are very talented and I can very honestly say that I enjoyed reading this piece. Thank you.

    Carrie


  • Angelflower
    May 25, 2008

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    This was actually a really good poem..
    You had a lot of imagery here, as well
    as a lot of emotion.. You did a good job..
    I'll be reading more that is for sure..

    Angel


  • Salt Therapy
    April 27, 2008
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    This is a really great poem.

    Wow!!