New tenant check list (in the near future).
>How do you feel about robots in general?
Terrified, yet somehow sexually aroused, and
yet strangely hungry?
>Do you think you could engage comfortably
in a friendly conversation with a robot?
Yes, but it would have to be in an underwater
cave somewhere in the Bermuda triangle. And
telepathically. And could we be dining on Sea
turtle soup? Because, I believe that would help
me be more receptive to the unusual mood created
by having a conversation with artificial intelligence.
> Would you feel threatened or uncomfortable
if you were to have a robot coworker?
Yes, unless we were screwing.
> Would you ever befriend a robot, willingly?
No, but I would for permanent financial stability.
> Could you ever find yourself being intimate
with a robot? Why, or why not?
I think I've already answered that. Because,
often I'm misunderstood and quite simply put?
"God awful lonely."
> If a robot came up to you on the street,
asking for oil or some spare batteries, would
you give it to him, despite all the government
programs established to help robots get back on
their feet?
Never, I would kick its ass, take it apart, and
sell it, or trade it on the black market for
money, drugs, and young minority sex slaves.
Particularly, of the Asian descent, either sex.
> Should robots be allowed to walk around freely,
interacting with our human families and children?
What are you fucking serious? Because that shits not
funny in the least, or right brother. Can you dig me?
> How do you feel about robots assimilating
into our society and becoming part of our
regular workforce?
I believe you could probably figure that one
out piecing together various points made in
my previous answers.you act as if you've never
seen the Terminator?
> What annoys you most about the robot revolution?
The robots? What are you slow or something?
> Why do you hate robots?
Jealousy mostly, but secretly? Because they remind
me of Republican Christian white capitalist swine
funded by the Jews, policing the world and invading
my freedoms. Feeling around for more handouts and
robot love, sick bastards, the lot of you.
I pray my answers will assist you on
your search for a room mate.
Sincerely,
Horus8.
Author notes
I hate robots
Written December 15th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
LOL Horus - if i saw a poor hungry robot on the street corner holding a tin cup...i might throw him a battery. But you gotta be careful too, some of them are just plain friggin lazy and don't want to work. Just like those big time loser deaf robots....who walk up to you and hand you a little note saying, I'm deaf and can't work, please support me. Sheesh.
Not right for my contest but hey, it gave me a laugh
thanks!
-
what are you talking about there arent any robots. i want some robots it would be nice if my vacuum could vacuum by itself and then make me a cup of tea machines are great we need more and more independent ones to do things so we dont have to. are you totally insane dont you like servants god you common scum have no sense of reason see a few bits of metal bolted together and moving and you get shit scared....robots are nice if they existed . i want one . no i dont. i want two. knowign me i will be too poor to afford them when they come out.tut.i liked your poem questionaire it reminded me of some questionaires i have recently been doing called mrs lardyarsesuperior only worse cos yours have true anguish in them mine dont give a shit.Three small ones and i say anything.....
-
I think it's so weird how some people get a big fat boner when they see a live size robot that can walk or dance or clap or something - I mean people have been to the fucking moon and managed to make computers that can even make Victoria Beckham sing in tune and things, a walking robot just isn't that breathtaking. There's a robot with a vibrating arse and moving mouth in the sex shop in Soho though - I guess that could be breathtaking. Whos knows. Yes good poem but robots rather piss me off..
-
Okay,
How the hell did you not win? This made me laugh throughout. Upon seeing the scuffle I went into Mr. Tenchi's contest; and found that the winners should have their trophies taken away, melted into one, and presented to you for this. Brave-oh. -
Posh shite pudding
Dear sir,
I regret to inform you that your poetic license has been
suspended for attempting to sound like you know what
the hell you're talking about, when just last week,
we all witnessed you fisting a :
Good day.
Ps. Also; If you count how many trophies I have you'll find
that it's about 70 more than any one in that contest, negating
your said conclusion of me possibly feeling left out
for not winning. Leaving us back at our first dilema, that
being after I read your winners, and all of the other entries
I concluded that you either don't have a clue what good writing is,
or, your contest was rigged, OR BETTER YET BOTH, lol.
It's very common especially with guff writers such
as yourself.
Good day. -
Rigged? Just Because You didnt winn? lol THis is a poetry contest not some servey, granted it was funny but got annoying fast. Sorry you didnt winn, but you dont have to be a sore loser.
-
Very intersting. it was funny.thanks for entering
-
um some are ur answers were very funny um why would you need a robot to plz you arent i enough lol great write loved it good luck
NeNeGiRl -
whooooaaaa now. ummm not at all what i was looking for in this contest. but *giggles* u do have a sense of humor. lata alagata
~Iris~ -
Robots... hmmmm... never really thought about it. I supposed they'd be like Data, and I wouldn't notice or care, or else like Marvin the Paranoid Android, and I'd stay the hell away from him.
-
Interesting write Horus... however.. you apparently didn't read the rules.
1.) 'NO ADULT LANGUAGE PLEASE'. I want to be caught in the moment... not strangled by the use of bad language. If I see it, your poem will be disqualified.. sorry
Sorry but your write will be disqualified.
Thanks for entering anyways.
~Aimee
-
Imaginative, entertaining write. Sorry you didn't win.
Maureen
-
That would be cool. The last thing I won was a rubber chicken in tenth grade, but she left me soon after, She was a fowl Carnie whore of a bird.
-
Explosive write there, Horus Eight. A potential winner.
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
3 old applause
