Failing Basics

Relapsing beats
[of life's drums]
ceased to play

   but withered ,
        into
            rotted
               silence.

Holding the light
in darkened rooms
only to realize
that your soul
      is black;

and a strum of solitude
       beckons

[we can't teach ourselves]

but

you're nowhere near

trying.

Author notes

"Because she never really learnt how to breathe" - H.R.

under 50words

dont use anything thats in the quote.

pic credit:By NebulaskiN on Flickr

A contest entry

Quote Inspired - Under 50 Words by Exodus. 525 points, ended May 10, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Please tell me what you think

Comments

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
Exodus
May 10, 2008

Edit | Reply

Just to let you know 'your' in the second last line should be 'you're'.
I'm not sure about the format of the second stanza but other than that I thought this was great, original and memorable.

Thank you