hem burning,
she stood, asphyxiating
on a pedestal,
made of smoke,
until
broken chords
reached airless vocals.
she couldn't sing
everything
she wanted him to know.
and she was
cigarette silent
on the floor,
after he closed the windows.
there was no
salvation,
stemming from
air-conditioned
independence.
Author notes
47 words.
prompt: "because she never really learned how to breathe" H.R.
A contest entry
- Quote Inspired - Under 50 Words by Exodus.
525 points, ended May 10, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique:
Comments
-
Oh my.
This is absolutely stunning! I think once the contest is over I'm going to have to have a look at more of your work.
Safe to say I'm impressed
Thank you -
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Wow.
Thanks for the comment, your writing is really really amazing so I'm kindof surprised at how nice it is.
But thank you!
-
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intresting, i really like ur descriptions, they are intriguing, and unique, great job and good luck.
take care
stephanie
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