The dry scrape of fragile Fall leaves at the door.
A see through ceiling that part times as a floor.
Sunlit slits with dust that dares to forever float.
The sound of heavy chains, then a far off Tug-boat.
Wolf spiders, and ghosts, awash in layers of mildew.
An echoless darkness, and things better left untrue.
The smell of the Ocean, and a sump-pump that's quit.
An axe in the corner with a spinning wheel to sharpen it.
100 perfectly lined bottles of Jam upon a shelf
A 100 years have passed since that December 12th.
But if you look again friend, and look up really close.
Enough to see through the dust & touch it to your nose.
You will see that these preserves are made of no berry.
There is something else in there, red, hairy & scary.
It looks to be sad lips with a mustache trimmed blunt?
'fore a skull in the corner says "Let go of my jellycunt!".
Author notes
Horror's always better when you get to die laughing.
I'll kill you! If I already haven't?
Written December 15th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Arachnophobia by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended November 1, 2006, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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How funny! You are right. The scares are the best when you can turn around and laugh at them. Thanks for entering.
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I'm still laughing at this..Glad I stumbled up on it..great write.great imagery. thanks for sharing
Dusty -
CONGRATS ON THE GOLD!
BTW....congrats on the God!
~ Becky ~ -
This is a riot!
This is absolutely ingenious! I love the imagery you've created in the beginning; an abandoned house near the Ocean in 'Grandma's basement', where long ago one might have smelled the aroma of cookies or bread baking almost constantly.
Then you flip that switch on us so fast that our heads spin as you turn this into pure gore! Delightfully funny, however. I think you gave Comatose and skitza whiplashes there
Reading those comments were almost as fun as reading the poem...LMAO! NAAAHHH! Not really. But they were entertaining 
This is a riot. Sometimes people just read things on the wrong days; in the wrong frame of mind. Either that or it was a full moon, feeling out of sorts or just constipated
Hysterical! I love it!
Blessings and
s
~ Becky ~
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Every time I read it, I crack up still.
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Personally, I think this is freakin' brilliant! Despite the um...'special' comments above. Very well done Horus, I love the edge to this piece, it is all that dark/horror should be with an extra bite. Awesome! Namaste' Gypsy
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I liked this for the wonderful description you had. I especially liked the part "Wolf spiders, and ghosts, awash in layers of mildew. / An echoless darkness, and things better left untrue." I liked the end as well, when you stated that the preserves weren't berry. Overall, it was very interesting, and the ending was unexpected and funny.
I have two areas in which I believe you could improve. One is the punctuation, the periods judt sort of make it choppy. With commas, or something like that, it might flow a little better. Also, the veeeery very end...It was alright for humor, but by the way the rest of the poem had gone, I expected the berry stuff to be something extremely gory and disturbing. The lips and moustache was certainly unexpected, though it didn't seem to fit right in this poem.
Well, thank you so much for entering, and good luck to you!
~ Lady ~
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Like I said before I couldn't give a sod how many trophies you have. And seeing as you have sooo many it won't hurt you to leave this 'shit' contest will it? And DON'T enter another one. This is the only one that I am removing because I can't stand it or you. And by the way, I'd much rather have my face then yours. If I had your face I would have cut it off with a chainsaw a long time ago. Now, good bye!
skitza
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You don't know what an ellipses is do you.
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Yes, your contests are shit, but so's your poetry and face in general, so you're onto something.
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Count my trophies, than count yours.
I would actually click on your author page
If I hadn't already predicted the dissapointment.
By the way, nice asshat. -
Plus you're the one who kicked off big time in my last contest. You won't be winning this one so if it's going to upset you I suggest you leave my 'shit' contest 2 and find another one.
skitza
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Hmm... good poem. Very interesting. I'm not sure about the ending really and you didn't follow the rules.
skitza
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Wow I hate this poem so much ...damn you have like no sense of poetry ...This is easily the worst i HAVE READ ON HERE THEY SHOULD KICK YOU OFF FOR THIS PIECE OF SHIT ... fuck ...humorous horror ...this is just wow i have never faced ne thing so bad ...I mean....................................................................
..... sorry i had to puke ...damn ...please do the world a favor and stop writing ...I really hope you are like 7 cos that is about as much sense as you make in this ...man that was nasty- explains why you have no applauses ... YUCK -
this is good...humorus horror...a different combination...good job!
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Good shit here.
I liked how vivid it read, there was a lot of imagery in this poem that was fairly beautiful in an odd way. I really like poems that give me good mental images.
The whole cunt in a jar thing was pretty sweet too...it was funny but at the same time slightly disturbing. -
I know, but I still really want you to Blow Me.
See, I'm a bit deflated since the accident. -
I didn't say it was bad... i said it was interesting
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Blow Me.
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interesting write...
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Yeah, that's probably because I'm describing a vagina in a jar,
doll? One tends to be more humorus with the nomenclature involved
in such a feat then well metered, pardon me. -
to be honest..i didnt like it. the imagery was excellent, and the tone was chilling..but the flow was uber choppy, didnt flow at all nicely, and the ending was a bit curt..
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Nice. I don't understand what they didn't get, but I agree with Clam. Nice write and all that jazz. I'm not really stunned by the word cunt. Cunt is a hot word.
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OOOOO dear lord...i lvoe you for this poem..as usual you tkae the most rancid thing and make it that of something i can't help but just not look at in humor...and the rest of the comments onhere are pricless becuase you know they are still all stunned by the use of the word cunt....ooo dearlord forbid we say cunt. Anyways i really loved the structure and the way you wrote this pure brilliance...as usual.
Lovin u,
JOAN OF STARK RAVING MAD -
::shudders and laughs all at the same time:: Witty in a macabre, slightly rude way (that C word) you know lol
rhiannon 11 -
this was weird... but good luck
dont you need to put I'LL KILL YOU in the authors comments...
~predatorsgirl~
kim
p3@ce lol -
Hehe, I don't get it either but maybe that's the beauty part! I like this a lot and good luck in this contest. Thanks for entering my FIRST contest! Keep writing!
REBEL -
cool
well i dont really get it but i like your words there buddy its cool
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