You've tricked me once--that's two times too many!
You 've made me the fool, and I will not be
Lied to yet again. So take your falsity
And shove it where no one wants to see!
You are nobody to me, not any more--ya see?
I will no longer tolerate your damned trickery,
And I will never--I won't ever! Be..
Lied to by you again, do you hear me!?
I found out about your no good adultery,
And I must know, was it worth it, really?
Did you tell her about you, truthfully?
Or did you lie like you did to me?
You said you'd be faithful, what a criminal lie,
Swear it on Good Book--it'd burn, like a sunset sky.
Does it break your heart to know that I will not cry?
So, did you tell her? Or did you carry on with your lie?
Author notes
My topic was Kelly Clarkson's "never again--" admittedly, a song is a difficult topic.
Rewritten! <3 I like it better, and I think it's more like the song. I didn't mean to make that many lines rhyme... -.-;; It just happened. lol
A contest entry
- BE REWARDED IF YOU ARE THE FIRST TO MESSAGE ME by Yunalonei.
700 points, ended April 29, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How did you like it?
Comments
-
Wow, that's awesome, full of emotion, a great improvement. Great stuff.
-
Fantastic
This is an amazing poem.
You have stuck wonderfully to the songs meaning but you still managed to keep the basic idea of adultery in the piece.
I loved the last line.
4/5 stars for this piece much much much better for the contest.
Awesome work
xoxo
p.s thank you for the re-write -
Good Effort
This was a good first poem written with a song as the influence.
Never again is about a woman saying she won't be fooled again basically. You have kept it similar but not exact.
As far as the poem goes on its own merit i thought it was good poem, it flowed well and was rhythmic.
I'd say 2/5 stars for this poem, simply because it doesnt stick well enough to the song.
if you'd like to rewrite thats fine just im me and ill look back in at it.
Good Poem
xoxo -
-
:)
Thank you--when I wrote up my little "helper" thing, I wrote it with the wrong meaning. I rewrote it(Did you? Does it?) and, well... I hope you like it better.
-
Adding your comment:
