Stickman 2 (for J)
Stickman tasted death till the angels spat -
scrawled out
blessed blood with viced needles.
Now stickman plays to
lust, hears the fallen voices
smash and twist, vomit
high his screaming festering shame
as unforgiving
shards engulf and enfold,
mocking a purity of the man.
Stickman fingerdrifts in mine as
haloes of cloudburst white burn
across his smile. Shreds himself
in fragments to encompass those who
claim they believe.
But still the stickman forgets and fails
the meaning of
atonement.
Stickman weeps for a lost unknown,
tastes the tears with teeth
he cannot seek.
Sweetly smiles his song,
hostages his face,
renders to chemical
revelation and cannot win.
Stickman tastes the graceless angels,
denies, distorts, and displays,
grotesquely presents the
daubed smooth of his skin
to recall the fall of
how Stickman grows
to this.
A contest entry
- His Beauty Like The Night by Redrusty66.
525 points, ended June 9, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addiction♥ by angelcalled666.
600 points, ended July 5, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addictions by starlite.
600 points, ended September 30, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Cool
different styles are just amazing, you bring them about with grand splendor and beauty,e... it is quite a glimpse you have captured. There was no error. No typos. Nothing to change. I look forward to your next write.
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Awesome use of unique wordplay and vocabulary. Such images and atmospheres this piece brings up. Allowing for a wide spectrum of interpretations I will have to digest the many aspects for awhile. Great rhythum and flow and I was enamored throughout the reading.
Thanks much for the great read. -
wow
very nice piece I love the imagery and this is just fantastic..keep up the good work..and best of luck to you in the future and in the contest...
andi
(redhanded)
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This is very cryptic. i felt you were describing an escapre through drug use...but beyond that, I was a little lost. That being said, it was still very interesting...gripping even. I enjoyed absorbing your words. Your alliteration and flow were unusual and pleasant.
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thanks for entering! this was an intresting piece! you did a very, very nice job with it though! good luck in the contest!
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Yikes. This is disturbingly vivid. Not that I don't like disturbing, but this was... Something different
Thanks for entering
and best of luck
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