Torture
Twisted nipples,
orifice stretched,
rack.
Torture divine.
Ultimate,
rapturous
experience
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Spelling/grammar/punctuation = 20
Presentation/creativity = 19
How well you handled the challenge = 20
'Grab me' effect = 19
Overall = 20
TOTAL = 98/100
This was a WONDERFUL take on the prompt ... one observation though ... You should've taken the word Torture from the top of the write - that was the only thing that took away for me
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Spelling/ grammar/ punctuation: 20
Creativity/ presentation: 19
Excellent choice to choose an acrostic to further your piece's power. I would have liked to see the word torture in the piece replaced by another word though. It would have made it perfect.
How well you handled the challenge: 20
Perfect handle on what was asked for. Well done.
Grab me effect: 19
If it wasn't for the word torture you would have gotten 20 here. This was delicious though.
Overall: 19
Total: 97
This was yet another excellent offering Ang. My you have grown so much as a poet. I am really enjoying your entries in this challenge. They are fun and hit the spot time after time. -
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Thank you for so much for your comments Tanzanite
ang
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An acrostic that is so clever, well done. Torture between lovers is indeed raptuous.
Spelling:20
Presentation/creativity: 20 using acrostic form is inspired.
How well you handled the challenge: 20 You captured so many elements of torture play
Grab me: 20
Overall: 20
Total 100 -
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Thank You so much for your wonderful comment and score Jem.
ang
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perfectly said with very few words used
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thank you SurrenderMyHeart
ang
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Spelling/grammar/punctuation = 19
I think this should have ended with a period after experience.
Presentation/creativity = 20
Well done.
How well you handled the challenge = 19
I really got the sence of a torturous experience here, but I think the focus should have been fully on torture and not how the experience is, to me it seems almost like the first part is all about the torture then it switches views.
'Grab me' effect = 20
I loved this, and think you really captured the reader.
Overall = 19
I feel that had you ended this with a period and it just been strict torture and not the switch of how it feels, the score may have been perfect.
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Total= 97
**Master Ktulu**
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Thank You, Master Ktulu.
ang
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Gets the job done I guess, but as you can see from my comments in the challenge I am not exactly excited by 10 word writes
Let's wait for some bigger challenges to come.
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iv been battling to write, so the challenges are forcing me to think again. i quite liked this, made me think out the box, so to speak, and well i do like acrostics
thanks for reading and commenting
ang
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I love it. This is such a short piece for you Ang, but within the words here, you have produced great imagery. This is soo hot, orgasmic, and divine torture indeed. Fantastic writing. You are still the Queen of Erotica to me my Sister.
Keep writing and never stop.
Love
Wayne Leon
xx
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thank you my Brother. It was written as part of a challenge, with a 10 word limit.
hugs and kisses, your baby sister
ang
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