sleepy eyed
month of June
do nothing
post noon
sky reflects
deep blue
wisps of white
billowing through
my inventive mind
sees differently
conjuring forms
entities
eyes trunks
fluttering wings
jeweled crowns
smoke rings
light bulb
flickers on
scribble thoughts
before they're gone
words, feelings
intertwine
now my muse
will re-design
Author notes
Okay, so you must know, all of us regulars usually have an idea of what to pen before these contests are
posted.......BUT then....the dreaded new rules!
My theme is trying to get inspiration for these contests.....I sit out in the yard and watch the clouds drift by forming.......hopefully some inspiration.
PO contest.....with lots of new rules!
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM by Arkbear.
1500 points, ended May 1, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Hi Julie
I really don’t know what I can say about this other than agreeing with Bear...first, that the comments gave this a great lasting impression, and secondly...your imagery is wonderful!
Please forgive me for the short comment...I’ll explain in final notes, but meanwhile thank you for your entry and wish you good luck. Remember...Bear and I should be here with the PO contests for some time to come, so don’t feel bad taking a week off if necessary. We’d miss you though, so dig deep and see what brilliance comes out.
Peace and Blessings,
~J.
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Thanks Julie...I understand.
First I put Bear to sleep...then you tell me to take a week off!..I put the water pistol down..and picked up the hose!...I shall never enter again!
...lol.......(Joking for those who don't know.)
anyway, my muse is coming back from vacation this weekend -
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Cool! I think your muse might be partying with mine...so drag it back with yours if you can.
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Ah, you found a lot of inspiration while outside watching the clouds form and change. You put your pen to excellent use, and you did so well with the rules! (always my downfall...LOL) Great poem!
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LOL - "this" is pure gold - nope, it's priceless!! To have put the 'bear' to sleep and made him snore...LOL....WHAT AN IMAGE!!!
(think it was his snores 'shakeing' your volcano??>>LOL -
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And you're right!
I think putting someone to sleep...would constitute a very
lasting impression!!! LOL...
Take care! See ya next time.
*PEACE* -
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LOL - sure would!! Has POWER, IMPACT, IMAGE - the whole package - you should tell Bear that this would be PERFECT for your next POW!!...
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Thanks!
I was sure glad, I cracked him UP...not DOWN!
*PEACE*
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Hi Julie :)
You are cracking me UP!
Hehehehe ~
OK....All I will say....is fine job on Rules....terrific job on Tone....love the Theme, but soooo cliche'.....Barf!
LMBO ~
However.......you penned it, so I am going to critique it....fair enough?
Is this really an entry from islekine?.......one of my best POETS!!!!?????
Nahhhhh.....she wouldn't do that to the Bear.....would she?
Your Lasting Impression is very weak....except for your comments and reviewers comments, which I'll remember more than this piece of shhhhhining poetry :)
Imagery....thank God for Imagery....at least you'll get a 10 in one area of scoring....ooppss.....I don't score Imagery.... -10 pts. I guess....LOL ~
Your Impact is boring...............................................................................................................................................................................
................................oops....sorry, fell alseep!
Ok....your Power.....................................zzzZZZzzzzZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....snort...........zzzzz
zzZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzzzz.....oopps....sorry....was I snoring?
Your....oh Lord....let's just see how this scores....
.....good luck and may God help us.....I mean bless you,
:)
Bear ~
Title 9.6
Flow 9.85....really nice -
Depth 9.5
Theme 8.5
Feelings 9.75....beautifully depicted from your lovely imagery -
Grammar 9.7....short, but sweet -
Presentation 9.9
Uncommonness 8.5....been there, done that -
Sit & Ponder Affect 7.5.........zzzzZZZzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzz -
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 92.8
OOOOMMMMGGGGGGG!!!!
Great score!!!!!!!!!!!!!
....considering..... :)
Be well and God bless Julie.......sleep this one off sober....congrats my friend on your sobriety.....
....sooooo PROUD of you!
My Sobriety date is Aug 25 2003 :)
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Thanks Bear!
You forgot to say, that in just 52 words...I got a better score than POW! LOL....My muse refuses to write anything but crapola right now...LOL..I was just trying to make all those new faces welcome! (Don't want to scare them off RIGHT away!).....hehehe....Glad you took it as intended!
I tried to give you and Julie everything you love in poetry...Julie can now call my poetry grocery list again..
I deserve it! Anyway, I will NOT enter next week unless my muse returns from the Bahamas or where ever it is she has run off to...lol
Take care my friend....and may the Good Lord have mercy on us all! (seriously we need it in these times)
Be well blessed and amused....
Write on!
*PEACE*
I always sleep sober!
April 16....1988
Love always,
Julie
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nice, reminds me of summer ^.^
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Lovely write!
enjoyed the images,
good luck in the contest,
Floorboards.
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"light bulb flickers on scribble thoughts before they're gone" I love this most. I've actually done that before
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Well I have to say that's one way of sticking to the rules...omit ALL the A's...lol. Yep I can relate to this easily, used to have them half written, but not any more
A wonderful poem, superbly penned. All the best in the contest with it
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LOL...I just took out most of the punctuation
and put in a word! I hope they hurry and judge this darn thing before we all go nuts!...ha ha he he ho ho!
Take care!
*PEACE* -
I tweeked it again...I wasn't happy with the flow
took out a word..lol...
now it's even shorter!
Take care....
Write on!
*PEACE* -
Well I got half way through..
realized there were no "a"s so then became determined to pen it that way....you know how stubborn muses can be...
anyway....thanks for the lovely comments.
Write on!*PEACE* -
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I think it's perfect as it stands now...minus the extra word...lol. The no 'a' in this was the first thing I noticed. And the 5th verse I can so easily relate to
Superbly done, be very surprised if this doesn't take something home with it
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your thoughts alone become wos that matter, essentially becoming what matters..well done
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Mahalo!
Glad you liked it...
Take care...best wishes in the contest.
Write on!
*PEACE*
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Yeah the rules bummed me out too...
So I trashed my idea and got drunk instead...
This has a dreamy flow to it...carefree.
Best of luck here in this rule filled world of POM
Becky
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Well Becky...
Not sure how to respond....haven't been a drinker for
20 years...this month....
Besides I like a good challenge!!!
Next time...don't let it bum you out...use it to give your mind a good work out!
Take care my friend! Thanks for commenting!
Write on.
*PEACE* -
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Oh don't mind my comment, I was just being a smartie pants and I actually am not a big drinker either so I really didn't get drunk I just didn't get an entry in in time. You poem was really lovely. I just like giving Bear a hard time about his rules because my poetry doesn't use alot of punctuation and got slammed for it...so to speak...lol. Anyway I am rambling on and saying nothing at all...lol.
Good poetry!
Becky
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I love your theme! lol. Im sure there are at least 15 people that can relate....But you pulled it off seemingly with ease.
Great write! As usual you express yourself beautifully with your picture painting words. Good luck!
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Thanks Jamie...
Can't wait to see what Bear says..
Can't be any worse than last week! lol
write on!
Thanks again
*PEACE*
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I never think of anything until I see the contest pop-up (same for those picture prompts)...had some ideas on this (when I saw it posted), but had a tad bit of problem with the letter "a" getting in the wrong place!...lol...and filler words, too, as I got confused and took out all of my "the", also...LOL
Oh well....I gave it a shot!
I like the soft feel to this and your images - and I see you followed ALL the rules.....LOL
best wishes in the contest
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Well I have tweeked it a bit more
see if you can notice .....
Thanks for commenting! Best wishes to you also!
Write on.
*PEACE* -
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right now I can't see anything!...lol...my eyes have crossed from re-doing mine!!!
best wishes
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I know exactly what you mean..I had a whole poem written for the POW last time..and had to start from scratch! Now I just wait until its posted..** This is a great write. Best to you!
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Mahalo!
Yeah well...it's an okay write....sometimes rules get in the way..lol....Best wishes to you! (if Bear and Julie come up with a form you have to count...I'm in trouble) They wouldn't do that ...would they????? lol
Take care! See you around...
Write on and on!
*PEACE*
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This reminds me of my friend, and myself. Always having to grasp quickly at muse or a particular idea before it flutters away and follows the clouds absently. Excellent expression of yourself, and good luck in the contest you've entered.
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Mahalo for your comments!
These contests really keep you and your muse hoppin'
Write on!
*PEACE*
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