I'm just a shell
Of what I used to be
And what you get
Is not exactly what you see.
Beautiful and fragile?
Turn me over
And you will see
The hole you left
Inside of me.
The sound of water heals,
The rush of water breaks.
The spirit struggles on
But the body aches
And nothing is ever
Whole again
But only pieces of
The thing I have become
Without your love.
A contest entry
- metaphors by james119.
625 points, ended May 1, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Favorites & Library Members by piccola.
600 points, ended May 18, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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great metaphor here. I usually don't get metaphors but I got this easily. It is visual and that helps. Your wording also helped me find my was so I appreciate that. Thank you for entering.
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Once again Thank You. A little background on this one , if you don't mind. I had just made my first trip to the beach with my husband, just weeks after our youngest daughter had suffered her first great heartbreak. I had a marvelous time and collected shells to take home to everyone. When I offered her, her choice, she picked the very simple, smooth white ones, beautiful until you turned them over, and there and then a poem was born. Thanks again for honoring me with the bronze.
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I will try to comment on this later. thanks for entering.
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