alone, she sits there,
staring into pure blank nothingness
her thoughts dwell
always running away from her
she's forever seeking
seeking for that certain feeling of importance
of unconditional brilliance
though she knows its just too far away
still she looks around every nook and corner
waiting for it
waiting for a long gone thought
the thought of satisfaction
A contest entry
- Guaranteed Comments! II by Nam.
1750 points, ended June 8, 122 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by Midnight-x-Rose.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2146 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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"seeking for that certain feeling of" - I don't feel the use of "seeking" is necessary here, and works better without it going by the use of the word in the previous line.
"waiting for it
waiting for a long gone thought"
I also feel the repetition here is unnecessary. Perhaps changing the above to:
"waiting for
a long gone thought"
Other than those two things, a nice poem that you have written here.
-Nam -
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notice the name???
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I think you are brilliant. You write with such passion, and intelligence. It comes through with this piece here. Every line is wonderfully-written. Keep writing.
Wayne Leon
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