Bright spotlight upon the stage
Cheers swelling, crowd in a rage
"Break a leg" whispers in your ear
Nervousness as your stomach fills with fear
Finally you're promped to enter
Onto the stage and into the center
Looking out to the audiance bright
Fulfilling a dream, a greatest delight
Many a dream you've finally acheived
And many more to take before you leave
Beating the expectations of many
Living life fully, reaching twenty
And many more years you have to go
Continuing on through joy and woe
So happy birthday my dear friend
And I'll be with you until the end
Author notes
Sorry if this is a touch negative, I'm still a little stuck on the autobiography begining that I read the other day heh, I can't get it out of my mind which, being that this is about a birthday, is one of the reasons I've been putting it off recently, claiming writers block lol.
But it is meant to be a positive piece, look how far you've come, how many people you've shocked hehe, and how much you've acheived already. Happy birthday, and many more
A contest entry
- Sweet-and-Twenty by J.P.Troy.
1200 points, ended July 13, 2008, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Yeah... comment lol
Comments
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Contest: Sweet-and-Twenty by J.P.Troy.
I don't see this as negative at all. To me every line rings with a joyous shout! Even though this is an anonymous contest, I can figure out who wrote this easily because I can only think of one person who knows me this well. Or perhaps more to the point, I can only think of one person who's ear I have talked off with my dreams of going on the stage.
Onto the stage and into the center
Looking out to the audience bright
This simple description is so evocative to me...I can't even begin to tell you the memories it stirs and the dreams it fuels. Or perhaps I have already told you? haha
On a technical level, this poem has wonderful rhyme, rhythm and flow. You have built the momentum up to the climax and created an electric atmosphere that truly belongs in the theatre.
On a personal level, your meaning is so clear and so dear to me that I cannot find the words to explain how I feel...and you know that's rare!
So happy birthday my dear friend
And I'll be with you until the end
As I will be with you, dear friend.
Thank you for entering this contest. Good luck.
J.P. Troy
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