A bumblebee bumbles from tree to tree.
The poet stares at its arcs and acrobatics,
helpless to find the words, the glue to
hold it all together. His hand closes
around a pen that seeps colorless, bland art.
The bumblebee stole the pollen, who knew
words resided in the center of fragrant blossoms?
Maybe the poem lies hidden in the blue between,
space that distorts the picture, that demands nothing
but focus, surrender to color, the need to command art.
Kneel brother, become the not so humble bee who knows
that God has stored His canvas in unplanned beauty.
Reach out and seek the gold, the silver, true blessings
in the sounds of that bee, the scents of fanned pollen.
Art cannot look the other way, art understands senses.
Author notes
This was for the poetic challenge. I needed to write the following:
Rhyme scheme ababb (3 stanzas)
The rhyming word must be the next to last word in each line.
There is to be no letter "i" in either the first or fifth lines of each stanza.
Theme: A poet with writer's block
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Wow, I wouldn't have thought of this for writers block, very unique and creative take on it. Such a hard theme to pen to, never easy describing things that won't happen. You have done an awesome job! Superbly penned, good luck in the challenge
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Well thank you Lady. It means a lot to see these warm comments. Thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughts.
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Hi Tanzy :)
Ok....I just read this about 5 times while eating a popsickle in front of my monitor.....and all I am going to say.....well, maybe not, ALL....but I just think this is crazily great!
I am a little confused on your score from Melanie. but I shall also score your write as I see fit.....and not try to add extra points to help boost her 95....hehe ~
OK....Nice 3 stanzas....presented very well ~
I did not see any *i*'s in either of your 1st or 5th lines....nice job!
Your rhyme is a tad weak in 2nd stanza....2nd line....the word, *fragrant* just does not go with *demands or command*....so that will be a point off in that area......however, your other stanzas of ababb are spot-on ~
:)
Now for your genre......yes, writers block can be fumbled by us all when it is severe.....yet....in this write, I have to applaud you for the poetic licence you showed and placed this in such a beautiful format, that I think this is one of the best writes this contest has seen so far ~
You are so serene and subtle about your muse taking leave.....and yes, I *sorta* agree with Melanie when she said...*more despeeration* in your piece.....however, not every Poet gets to the desperation point when losing their muse......and as for me, I just think it's time to take a break and chill actually....so this time, I have to disagree with my Sweet lil pregnant fay....which is Very rare for me to do :)
Each stanza is penned with so much energy and strength of observation for your Theme....I think you did a fabulous job :)
Loved it Tanzy.....really did,
the best to you and your entry,
...and God bless you and that quill of yours,
Bear ~
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I seem to be very serene nowadays. Maybe I should not write about angst for quite some time *smiles*. Thank you so much Bear. You know how much your words mean to me and to get two glowing reviews two days in a row makes me ever so happy. I can just see you sucking that popsicle as you read. Wonderful image. Yes, fragrant did not do the job, but somehow it fit with the rest. The rhyme unfortunately doesn't. You are right there. This piece could go through quite a lot of change in the end, but not right now. The baby is new born and surgery always happens later. It is part of my effort to write one poem a day for National Poetry Month during April as well. Lots of babies around right now.
Thanks a lot Bear. I will endeavor to make you even happier in the next round (assuming that I am still here, no one knows ... *smiles*).
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this is a genuinely refreshing poem! trust me your theme i believe is one of the most unusual ones...and must have been tough to write with all restrictions imposed!!! i really liked it!! all the best to you!!!!!!!!(and all of us)
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Vibes hun, it was in fact difficult. I tried to stay away from birthing poems as a lot of poets would have done. It is a valid theme though and one we all know all about. It is just strange how one cannot write about it. It is as if the mind rebels against the very existence of writer's block. I am glad you liked it though. Thanks for taking the time to comment and to read.
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Wow, this is a beautiful write
and it is hard, of course
to write about writer's block!
This is seriously stunning!!
Yes, I'm amazed, you're definitely
going to the next round
Well, good luck to all of us! =]
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Yes, good luck to all of us. I am so glad you liked this. It was difficult as I have said before, but it was also fun to try and find a new way of describing it. I am glad it touched you.
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Tanzy,
Your hard work paid off. This is very enchanting! I like where you went with this. Writers block is a difficult topic to write about, is it not? lol. Actually I think the feelings is what we have to tune into... as poets we take for granted our sources of inspiration too often. To see beauty, and feel the ache to express it in written words, yet the pen and the mind can't connect... horrible. I can watch the wind hit a blade of grass and write a poem about the motion and sensation, and would be devasted if I could only scratch at the papaer, whilst the words boiled beneath. I would have liked to see that desperation more in your piece, but I must admit you really have shown through on this round!!
Nice job! I am glad you are back to yourself We missed ya! 
your score from me: 95
Mel
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Yup, it was difficult- you pack a mean challenge Mel. I happen to have been afflicted with this and was actually watching a bumblebee today surrounded by green and blue and could for the life of me, not find a metaphor or words appropriate to describe it. I think it took me two hours to actually come up with something worthwhile in the end. It seems like it was worth it. In every way you gave me the right topic though. Thank you!!!
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