I sketched your name on inky papyrus,
as ripples' birth in tranquil waters
like reflections of black monsoon,
inscribing passion into still air
and you inhale,
the breath of my poetry.
In midnight hues you steal glances,
the star of your eye peeking
and I sculpt your stone with quill,
instilling embrace in every letter.
Ah, my feather wilts in your wake,
and creation retains salvation;
for whenever in yester-morrow,
my heart aches for a kiss,
I puncture yet another dot
and start from scratch,
those supple lips.
Author notes
Asfand.
Project No. III
A contest entry
- Teen Idol 7: Round 11 [Top 3 - Finals] Part 3/5 by Tangled Angle.
650 points, ended May 2, 2008, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Criticism Is Very Much Welcomed -- I Am Here To Learn
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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OMG, THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.
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wow, that was a gold trophy well deserved
fantastic poem. you write beautifully

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clever and yet not obvious
An excellent poem. You have chosen your words carefully but make them flow easily, and we anticipate the next...
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well aren't you just the one?!
One of the BEST pieces I have read lately. Something very heartfelt and intelligent about the delivery of these words. Very impressive. I really like the way this FEELS when I read it. I can wrap my emotions around AND my head. A great combination that works well for this write. Thank you for sharing. Good luck with the contest. Peace and light, Kendal

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Lovely, indeed....made me melt....and flows so nicely, so well written. My favorite line:
for whenever in yester-morrow,
my heart aches for a kiss,
and a perfect ending:
I puncture yet another dot
and start from scratch,
those supple lips.


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This is beautiful, created a lovely picture in my mind. Excellent work. ~sugar~


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Very creative and interesting. I especially liked the ending.
Great job!

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Such talent
for one so young.Well done on a lovely write.

Jane
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wish i cud be as gud as u
in xpresing my thoughts -
Beautiful.
1 - 10 of 10








