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As I Etch Your Name











I sketched your name on inky papyrus,
as ripples' birth in tranquil waters
like reflections of black monsoon,
inscribing passion into still air
and you inhale,

    the breath of my poetry.




In midnight hues you steal glances,
the star of your eye peeking
and I sculpt your stone with quill,
instilling embrace in every letter.

Ah, my feather wilts in your wake,
and creation retains salvation;

  for whenever in yester-morrow,
    my heart aches for a kiss,
   
I puncture yet another dot
and start from scratch,
those supple lips.

















Author notes

Asfand.
Project No. III

A contest entry

Criticism Is Very Much Welcomed -- I Am Here To Learn

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • HeLovesMeNot
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    OMG, THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.

  • wow, that was a gold trophy well deserved fantastic poem. you write beautifully

  • mwzephyr
    June 24

    Edit | Reply

    clever and yet not obvious

    An excellent poem. You have chosen your words carefully but make them flow easily, and we anticipate the next...

  • well aren't you just the one?!

    One of the BEST pieces I have read lately. Something very heartfelt and intelligent about the delivery of these words. Very impressive. I really like the way this FEELS when I read it. I can wrap my emotions around AND my head. A great combination that works well for this write. Thank you for sharing. Good luck with the contest. Peace and light, Kendal


  • Dixie Dawn gold member
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely, indeed....made me melt....and flows so nicely, so well written. My favorite line:

    for whenever in yester-morrow,
    my heart aches for a kiss,

    and a perfect ending:

    I puncture yet another dot
    and start from scratch,
    those supple lips.


  • onesugar gold member
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, created a lovely picture in my mind. Excellent work. ~sugar~


  • Araknia
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    Very creative and interesting. I especially liked the ending.
    Great job!


  • LadyJane13
    June 24
    Edit | Reply

    Such talent

    for one so young.Well done on a lovely write.

    Jane

  • kawaiibroken
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    wish i cud be as gud as u
    in xpresing my thoughts


  • Tangled Angle
    May 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.

1 - 10 of 10