"The soul shall find itself alone"

There has been a great deal of things that has happened within this so-called-life, most I could be ashamed of, but it is hard to actually bring myself to such a thought, everything seems to be a life experience to me. In the matters of love, I had found and had lost, with the “innocence” which was really a sense of unstable misunderstanding of myself, and for the way the other party was left, there is always a self hate for it. I did not have a right to do what I did, but it was for the best, there is always something more that people want in life, and I believe that I have found that thing, even if the future proves it to be wrong, right now I am in the gilded light that so pleasantly deems upon me. Ego has a lot to do with the self-pride of each individual and the past brings and creates the faults of beings as well. In any case, could it be so wrong to want a happy life, one where the hurting and darkness doe not have to fully engulf oneself: that there could actually be some kind of cure? Maybe the beast pestering inside could just one day be tamed and then defeated, or could even be ignored. There has to be a reason why this thing seems to take any kind of happiness and destroy it, too much time alone? In whatever case, from other sources, these things seem to disappear when there is a new responsibility, one that grows inside. I have no understanding of such a thing, but it looks to be a relief. A support of love, could bring one to tears, is holding them back so wrong, does it show that one is still uncomfortable with the other, maybe it is just the way the human body works that takes hold and leaves the conscience behind, without a care in the world. Poe was one with so much insight but had an addiction that took hold of him, during and after his sorrowful woes. There has to be something better than what has happened, maybe it could change with the growing of age, the understanding that comes with it.