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The Vampire's Remorse

Missing image

Deny me one agonizing breath ,love.Whittled.
I grasp for this devastating wish to become yours truly.

And the soft whisper of the air, brings to me your most sweet melody.

Where are you? Why haven't you come to save me?

 

Forsake everything just to have no remnants of the past.

Cast me away, far away from this life and drive me under yours.



Convince me to leave it all behind those bars of lust and hate.

Elude me from who I was and trade me, complete me like never before.

This vampire remorse is killing you, take me, I allow you.

Mourn for the residue of who I was, not for what I am or chose to be.

 

Grant me one last kiss, love. Crippled.

I gasp for blood I can barely obtain.

Hold me now, love, hold me, I've become stone.

Porcelain skin and no 'beat left.

Warmth of breath seduces me still and I can feel your hand caress my neck and grasp hard;

Yes, you've done it. I'm alive again.

I'm in love with you.

My dark prince.

       ~♥~

 

Author notes

"Becon the lies and release me from this world I linger, transport me to a world were I can be nothing more that you only love."-XXVampireeyesXX

In a list

A contest entry

Loving you never seemed so hard...

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • upperworld06
    October 24
    Edit | Reply
    i like the story in this. good job and good luc

  • Demmy
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    oh gosh, that was beautiful...

    you're very good with your words, and i liked this layout as well ^_^

    never stop writing!!


  • okadadokie
    July 25
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write. Thanks. Great job.

    ~Oka/KC
  • wow.....
    i think if you turned line 15 into 2 lines it would read more fluently, just my opinion though
    love always
    erica carnea

  • this is a very good entry, i was glued to my seat from the first word straight down to the last word and i chose to read it again, not because i didnt like it and couldnt undertand it but because i loved it and understood every word of it. I thank you for entering and best of luck to you and hope to see more like this from you in the future............
  • Dark, brooding and very very good. Your imagery is the thing that stood out for me. I shall read more of you. You have peaked my interest. I too am a 'Dark Writer'. I shall see what else you have to offer. Hehehe

    Darkest
    Wishes
    Wayne Leon


  • darlintlc
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    I believe this is one of my darkest fantasies...to be taken away from this world of pain and emptiness and be one of the beautiful undead!!

    Wow! You describe so beautifully a world of being a vampire!! Loved it!!

    Congrats of the golds and the silver!!!
    darlintlc

  • Very dark and atmospheric. I love the way you almost make us feel that is us you are wishing to feed upon. I like the way you change this also towards the end, as if we are indeed the prince of darkness or the alike.
  • Wow, this is a great poem!
    ♥♥♥♥

  • crazymomma
    May 19
    Edit | Reply
    This was really interesting. I enjoyed the wording and imagery very much


  • tehzeeb
    May 18
    Edit | Reply
    woah! heart felt!

  • I really liked this one it was soooooooooooooooo good hehe plus I love vampys hehe =)

  • I really like the concept, the flow, the theme, the prospect of a remorseful vampire that will be both terribly guilty and yet releived at what he's done... I wish you luck!
  • Wow

    This is amazing!

  • breth taking

    Great write! A well of sorrow, with deep feelings.
    Good luck


  • Lord Merlynn
    April 26
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, its going to be hard to try and top this one. Great job. LOVED IT!


  • The Moonchild
    April 26

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!

    OMG, I love this poem! You described what was on the picture so well and I could feel heart-breaking tragic love and sorrow first but as I got to the last stanza I was happy to read she was alive again, in love and all.. yay for that ending! I especially love how you added "my dark prince" and that heart.. so passionate and romantic.
    I usually prefer free-verse over rhyme. I think rhyme is overrated.

    Excellent poem!

    Blessed Be,

    ~Evolet

  • Brilliant

    I love the way you havn't made it rhyme, makin it sinister and so much more believable. You really dug deep in this poem to put in so much emotion that a fantasy, whether good or bad, would have. Great work and good luck.

1 - 18 of 18