When all the lights go out
and my heart fills with fear
do I end my life in failure
or in this blindness persevere?
When all the sounds of life
fall in silence from my ear
do I give up on my life
or in deafness’ persevere?
When all-my favorite scents
first snow, spring rain and rose
no longer grace their presence
should I give up, do you suppose?
With feeling, of senses lost
muted silence trapped inside
cut from the world, in coma
do I wish that I had died?
In God I place my future.
In his grace I have no fear.
In him all life is precious.
So in darkness, I persevere.
Author notes
http://chljlng.deviantart.com/art/Light-at-the-End-of-the-Tunnel-20668998
Prompt: Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. "Helen Keller"
In a list
A contest entry
- #75 Short Prayers by daviscth.
300 points, ended May 28, 2008, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Even when your hope is gone, move along by Barely Breathing.
450 points, ended June 21, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be Inspired by Your Senses... by harriet567.
450 points, ended October 6, 2008, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Upcoming Surgery Uplifting. by Poetryintheblood.
510 points, ended October 2, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prayers And Healing Thoughts For Sai Baba's Lotus' Mother by maa.
777 points, ended October 6, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartfelt rhymes by ItsUrHomeboy.
400 points, ended December 22, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Word Up by 2lullabyhaven.
625 points, ended May 22, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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Wowzers!!
Holy Mother of Pearl Jam~ This brings a HUGE smile to face
and Love the Energy also the Inspiration- Empowerment
with tight rhyme but most of all the Message
Bravo!!
Adore these lines:
cut from the world, in coma
do I wish that I had died?
These words pull hard at Spirit~
Swells the eyes~ Excellent!
Congratulations on Your shinies!
-throws confetti-
Woot~
Honored to have read
Thank You for sharing Your Voice
Best wishes in all You do
with love & light~ Desire~*~
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I like the poem as a whole, but nothing in there says why you are happy to live in 21st century. i would understand if you didn't mind you hahaha x
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Very beautiful and thought provoking poetry
Thanks very much for the entry.
Jeff
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A beautiful, heartfelt poem. No wonder it won so many trophies. I encourage you to read this everyday, maybe twice a day on ocassion. No matter what our walk in life may be He is always at our side and when we ask Him, He will hold our hand. I shall copy your poem to have handy for reading.
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Very good
thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. very well written with great style....thank you for entering my contest and best of luck
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Your trophies are impressive. This poem does bear rereading and I especially like your parallel references to the senses. That's a good connection with the Helen Keller prompt.
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Pretty good!!!
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Amen...perserverence the key, Well written, inspiring. Blessings.
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I most wholeheartedly agree, yes, persevere-thanks for your entry
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When all-my favorite scents
first snow, spring rain and rose
I love those scents too
great entry
Emmy -
Great job on this piece!
Nice flow and imagery.
Bravo!!!
♥ Kate -
Nice to see this piece again and good luck in this contest.
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Hello Bill -
The last S* leaves me with such a promise we sometimes forget.....thank you for sharing this with the Group....many blessings to you my friend...God bless you,
Bear ~
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You certainly have an impressive list of trophies and I like this well crafted piece, especially the parallel structure -- blindness, deafness, etc.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
a bit preachy for my taste but beautifully written. I liked the simplicity of the rhyme scheme in contrast with the more complex words you were rhyming.
thanks for entering -
The last stanza speaks volumes. Thank you for sharing and good luck.
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beautiful beautiful great rhyming. This was a delight to read and it makes great sense.
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I like your depiction of the lost senses and how you just keep on because you have faith.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
Nice write!
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Interesting poem you got here. It's very plain though...no big words, no metaphors, the consistency/flow of synonyms is somewhat off. You use commas in all the wrong places. Plus this doesn't match any of the prompts.
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I don't come across with a poem that has such a steady flow as this one here. So you really did a great job with that. The rhyming that you've used is flawless as well...
Very well done - thank you for entering the contest!
Leander -
A write which expresses a lot of determination. Thank you for sharing it. It's inpiring.
Thank you for entering my conterst. -
beautiful
i agree with Tom and must say too that this had a great rhythm. very nice job.
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This reminds me of the bible verse (forgive me, I can't remember where it is) "Yea, tho I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil, for Thou art with me." Good job and thanks for entering!
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This is a very inspirational poem. I can see why it won so many poems. Thanks for sharing it with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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Well written and versed and also well deserving of all the numerous awards it has won!
Well Done and Congratulations!!
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Thank you for the wonderful comment
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thank you so much for presenting this beautiful, as well as hope- and faith-filled verse in this contest ... may your words bring solace and strength to charishma's mother ... and may you be blessed for your kind offering ...
maa
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Thank you for your profound entry, and I shall take it to heart and not give in, good luck in my contest, Josie
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Well done, my best wishes in the contest.
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Lots of things to ponder. I really love the rhyme and flow of this as well as the message it puts forth. thankyou for entering
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Hmmmm....I like this even with the repeating. Questions Questions Questions.
Like to find my own answers.
Simon
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very nice peom and i can see why its won.... but not sure you helps this quote its suppose to be about someone else hurting more then you.... thank you for sharing this and good luck in contest.....!
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I really loved this and i loved the last stanza especially. You have ended this beautifully with hope, knowing that there is someone to help you along, and that you shall persevere. Wonderful, well done and all the best for the contest.
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a nice, simple piece
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this ending is amazing. thanks for entering and good luck.
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perseverance is the good makings of those who know truth when it stares them in the eye. Such gentle rhythm and knowing, my friend.
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This is really beautiful. So important to persevere and, in so doing, give any possible divine intervention a helping hand.
jjj
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This is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. The last stanza really touches my heart.
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And having to done all, to stand. Stand therefore...
Continue to stand O mighty child of God. A heartfelt piece of your soul has been scribed and I enjoyed every bit of it.
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Great metaphors and you played on the senses very well. Thanks for entering!
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Very Creative
I especially enjoy the play on senses, and the rhyme flowed smoothly. Awesome job!
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Amen! A wonderful poem about not letting bad times get the best of us, we should put God into it and we can as you say "Persevere" Great job of writing, perfect rhyme and just the right flow.
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Thank you for your entry. Great use of questions within the stanza and the culminating answer given in beautifully reflective of religious hope.
Good Luck in the contest -
BEATIFIC
Amazing word flow. Brilliant, well-placed rhymes. Super interesting tale. The only thing i could possible recommend to improve this deep, spiritual poem is the title. I love the title - and I love the poem - but I think the questions in your poem would be more powerful and mysterious if you didn't have the word "persevere" in your title - mystery brings interest for intellectual readers, if that's your intended audience
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