Among the stars drift dreams of love
Swaying, dancing, up above
Tender kisses in the wind
Knowing all your heart may send
In streams of blue I see your face
My mind is calm and full of grace
I wish that I could make it clear,
show how I feel about you dear
its not that I don't love you now
its almost like I've forgotten how
I've grown accustomed to having you
and forgotten the things i need to do
If you give me one more night
I will make it all alright
Hear the surrender in my voice
Allow your heart to make a choice
I know your body and how to touch
you in those spots you love so much
and after two minutes you will see
exactly why you're leaving me.
Author notes
notes...hrmm... ok.. blue wrote the first stanza and i the other 2.
A contest entry
- All for Fun (taking ALL poems from anyone) by Erozay.
450 points, ended May 7, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
i really like this poem because i can relate to it in some way, despite the seductiveness in the poem...
"If you give me one more night
I will make it all alright
Hear the surrender in my voice
Allow your heart to make a choice"
really nice rhyme scheme too
-
gorgeous, great write... keep it up
emotions were very real and i have an inkling you are writting from experience..
-
wonderful
it ws wonderful and i loved the way it ryhmed -
The first stanza reels in the reader right away. It's AMAZING.
My fav lines were: 'its not that I don't love you now
its almost like I've forgotten how'
And that tis fact, sometimes we forget how to love, it sucks.
Awesome write!
-BON*BON
-
omg that explains it then
the first stanza was really really good and the 2nd two were like... hmmm *cough*
-
yayyyyyyyy for us mwah mwah mwah
-
Wow,you really hit it off!!
Magnificent piece... -
Ok....This wins most perfect ending EVER! lol...
awesome! I just happened upon this in an effort to "return the favor" (thanks for comments by the way) and now I have to read more. This has rhyme, flow, humor and its just a damn good read.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
