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Tired Heart

A gentle heart, battered and beaten,
a naive nature cruelly abused,
a kind soul, spoiled and eaten,
a cringing mind left cold and confused

my heart painfully mourning
for the loss slaughtered sanity
the realization slowly dawning
of the ignorance taken gladly

no more light to find
now watch as the tears repeat
how was I so blind?
now for life, my heart desperately beats.



Author notes

Prompt: Don't lead me on and leave me confused. Any girl would rather be left alone than have her heart abused.
A bit dark for me and I don't usually do love writes but oh well!
FICTIONAL POEM

Option 2

A contest entry

what do you think?

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • kamulneix
    July 13, 2008

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    Awesome

    I really can identify with this poem. It is the one line " now for life, my heart desperately beats" has more meaning than just the physical and mental aspects. This poem speaks to me......


  • Hata mig
    June 29, 2008

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    "now for life, my heart desperately beats."
    That line alone would be enough to make me love this poem. However, the other lines also contributed beautifully and made this poem a lovely piece. Great work and best of luck in the contest!

    God bless,
    ~Praise~


  • Re-invention silver member
    June 18, 2008
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    wow this is really good.I like it dark and painful.... very well done!


  • Luckintheshadows
    June 13, 2008

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    Inspiring imagery here. Beautiful flow, all in all an absolutely brilliant poem! Thanks for sharing this,

    Luck.


  • Sharcu silver member
    May 30, 2008

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    Hood-Wink!

    This poem is full of raw emotions and amazing poetic techniques. I love what you managed to come up with without the poem being personal to you. I think many people can relate to the loss of a love, not only a person in their life, but the love of a car, love of sight, etc. You have a wonderful talent for your age and I look forward to seeing you post more here on AllPoetry!

    --Tim


  • tawk gold member
    May 30, 2008

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    Hood-Winked!

    Yes I think we all would like to not have our hearts broken, but without taking a chance on love we may never find true happiness! Wonderful take on the prompt, you are so very talented. Theresa


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    May 29, 2008

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    Hood WinK!

    You have a wonderful talent for a 13 year old
    This is strong and well penned

    Congrats on the HM

    Stay safe
    ~Manda


  • gypsyfan
    May 29, 2008
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    NICE

    I enjoyed this very much, the first two stanzas especially. Good Luck to you


  • grannyeri gold member
    May 29, 2008

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    You have been HOOD WINKED by The Poetic Bandits. This is your day in the spotlight - enjoy. Liked the rhythm, rhyme and flow of these lines- congratulations on winning an HM for this write. Thought it was a very well written poem for the prompt given.


  • warrior-eagle
    May 24, 2008

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    If you think this is a love poem
    I dont know what love poems you've been reading
    cause this ain't a love poem.
    This is very dark and a i love it.
    Thanks for entering

    ..Simply Me♥

  • Re-invention silver member
    May 8, 2008

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    I dont cosider it a love write.., i consider it a dakr masterpiece... especially in the rhyme schemes...it was simple and yet dark-ish.. wonderul write!


  • MrsJones
    May 3, 2008

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    Nice write, I liked the flow of this. Your word choice is good too, some of those lines stuck in my head. Thanks for entering!


  • warrior-eagle
    April 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    07]
    Don't lead me on and leave me confused. Any girl would rather be left alone than have her heart abused

1 - 13 of 13