A gentle heart, battered and beaten,
a naive nature cruelly abused,
a kind soul, spoiled and eaten,
a cringing mind left cold and confused
my heart painfully mourning
for the loss slaughtered sanity
the realization slowly dawning
of the ignorance taken gladly
no more light to find
now watch as the tears repeat
how was I so blind?
now for life, my heart desperately beats.
a naive nature cruelly abused,
a kind soul, spoiled and eaten,
a cringing mind left cold and confused
my heart painfully mourning
for the loss slaughtered sanity
the realization slowly dawning
of the ignorance taken gladly
no more light to find
now watch as the tears repeat
how was I so blind?
now for life, my heart desperately beats.
Author notes
Prompt: Don't lead me on and leave me confused. Any girl would rather be left alone than have her heart abused.
A bit dark for me and I don't usually do love writes but oh well!
FICTIONAL POEM
Option 2
A contest entry
- Pick One by warrior-eagle.
600 points, ended May 29, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Turned Bitter by MrsJones.
450 points, ended May 9, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hypnotic Poison by gypsyfan.
600 points, ended June 9, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Relationships..pain and happiness! by SuiCiDaLKiSs.
410 points, ended June 9, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm depressed, your depressed, write me something by Burnt-Angel.
300 points, ended June 17, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Breaking Up....Getting Hurt... by Luckintheshadows.
450 points, ended June 13, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1706 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
Awesome
I really can identify with this poem. It is the one line " now for life, my heart desperately beats" has more meaning than just the physical and mental aspects. This poem speaks to me...... -
"now for life, my heart desperately beats."
That line alone would be enough to make me love this poem. However, the other lines also contributed beautifully and made this poem a lovely piece. Great work and best of luck in the contest!
God bless,
~Praise~ -
wow this is really good.I like it dark and painful.... very well done!
-
Inspiring imagery here. Beautiful flow, all in all an absolutely brilliant poem! Thanks for sharing this,
Luck. -
Hood-Wink!
This poem is full of raw emotions and amazing poetic techniques. I love what you managed to come up with without the poem being personal to you. I think many people can relate to the loss of a love, not only a person in their life, but the love of a car, love of sight, etc. You have a wonderful talent for your age and I look forward to seeing you post more here on AllPoetry! 
--Tim

-
Hood-Winked!
Yes I think we all would like to not have our hearts broken, but without taking a chance on love we may never find true happiness! Wonderful take on the prompt, you are so very talented.
Theresa


-
Hood WinK!
You have a wonderful talent for a 13 year old
This is strong and well penned
Congrats on the HM
♥
Stay safe
~Manda


-
NICE
I enjoyed this very much, the first two stanzas especially. Good Luck to you -
You have been HOOD WINKED by The Poetic Bandits. This is your day in the spotlight - enjoy. Liked the rhythm, rhyme and flow of these lines- congratulations on winning an HM for this write. Thought it was a very well written poem for the prompt given.


-
If you think this is a love poem
I dont know what love poems you've been reading
cause this ain't a love poem.
This is very dark and a i love it.
Thanks for entering
..Simply Me♥ -
I dont cosider it a love write.., i consider it a dakr masterpiece... especially in the rhyme schemes...it was simple and yet dark-ish.. wonderul write!


-
Nice write, I liked the flow of this. Your word choice is good too, some of those lines stuck in my head. Thanks for entering!
-
07]
Don't lead me on and leave me confused. Any girl would rather be left alone than have her heart abused
1 - 13 of 13










