Startled, confused, glistening of sweat
Eyes stained with tears of crimson red
The room lowly lit in golden glimmer
Filled with fear she began to tremor
Around the room closed doors every side
Thoughts scream at her, where can she hide?
Ghosts of past mistakes creep under the door
Knowing the future would have much more
Chorus
We all have fears to face, destroy our demons
Tread on serpents, silence the screaming
Death snatches us all brings us into light
Begins or ends hell revealing truth, giving sight
Running through doorways, down hallways unknown
Out into paradise away from alone
Crystal blue waters and majestical willows
Sweet rest on black rose petal laced, doves wings pillows
Awakened by a passionate touch of the sun
A new day begins another search for my freedom
Not anxious or fearful of time that's ahead
Just a heart filled with hope and angels by my bed.
A contest entry
- Anything by crystallynnbradford.
300 points, ended July 30, 2008, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Forever dreamer by sexy emo fairy.
700 points, ended June 12, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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wow
I loved the imagery, and the emotion. but i really loved how you wrote this. wonderfully structured, and very creative. well done and thank you for entering! -
Wow
Kind of gave me a rock tone in my mind as i read this and rock , which is my favorite, really makes this go well to me and as far as the lyrics...... i cant find the words
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This is an excellent write. The marriage of the specific to the universal. I imagine you had a specific idea for this piece but it can really imply many things. The first two stanzas especially reminded me a lot of things my ex-girlfriend had gone or was going through. Very evocative and at the same time almost mysteriously ambiguous, like a dream or nightmare itself. Loved it.
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Dark and Light
You seem to be at am empass within this write, and others as well, seems the darkness pools around you, and yet... your refusal to succumb to its madness creates the light for which you feed. I never see the light of things, it always seems to be a facade to me, excellent write. Write on Poet!
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Running through doorways, down hallways unknown
Out into paradise away from alone
Crystal blue waters and majestical willows
Sweet rest on black rose petal laced, doves wings pillows
this is my favorite part in my dreams I always walk down unknown own hallways looking for answers
great write keep doing well my friend
love your rev papa
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this is a very intriguing piece....
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if poeple get hit, you can find ways to get away, im 13 and i did, and by the sounds of it Anya did too, which do you prefere, beats even tho u love him/ her, or freedom with your children......and still breathing?? think bout it, wat if this poem was writen by a spirt, and the end was " layiy in my bed, love have finlly made me go, and my children will be looking for hevens phone number" something like that but better, just think, anyway good write love n wel done
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a hint of the sun is so remarkably like the dawn. The first awakening to a read which shows much in the realisation of them after being awoken. The doorways are most likely to be episodes from one adjacent to the other, and in a way, instead of being a nightmare, show more light than you anticipated, and rather being negative, this nightmare is showing you the way out towards such light. Very good story, i must say. Sir Titus
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Dark hope
A troubled life filled with that one ray at the end, as we strive every day to reach it. Softly described surroundings, beautiful. 8/10 -
"Death snatches us all brings us into light
Begins or ends hell revealing truth, giving sight"
As I read these two lines of the chorus I saw a metaphor of death as a kind of birth - or perhaps the reverse. Many of your lines began to coalesce around that thought. The new beginnings - or final endings - we face through life start with that first fearsome snatch into light, but may very well culminate with...
"Not anxious or fearful of time that's ahead
Just a heart filled with hope and angels by my bed."
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Absolutely Brilliant!
Chapeau! One has to read quite a few poems before they come across one like this one. You have demonstrated brilliance and exceptional talent. Congratulations!
Ron
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woe this is great, very emotional, great understanding.
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Deep!
Looks like lyrics to a song. A lot of emotion & real-life experiences conveyed here. Good job.
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omg this is so good. wow u have come far. your writings are so good and i think u have done a great job of expressing ur feelings.
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Favorite lines: 2, 20, and 21-22
Unclear to me: 14
What are you searching for freedom from? -
Amazing
i love it, congrats on a great write, and dont forget, when you write something and you are proud of it, dont read it over just to hate it
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Wow, freakishly enough I can really relate to this.. Powerful and passionate. Beautifully written
Your very own Redtearstains
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this is wonderful the flow is great and magnificent, the ryme if untouchable, i loved every aspect of it
i love dark writes, this is just... words cant explain
keep up the freat writes, ur a good writer,
crystal
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Are these lyrics, or is "Chorus" actually part of the piece?
Either way, good sense of rhythm and not too saturated with theological theme, which is good, because then it'd be a psalm.
Some of the lines are a tad redundant, but that's fine as long as it's read/sang well.
Really nice job here.
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WOW anya, this is truly a milestone for you, well structured, well written, emotive, visual, all in all i would say your best to date, so well done.
Michael
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