if the distance between us
is a song, I will write it,
give voice and let it be sung.
Trees rest on that distant road.
They talk of us
and scrawl poems across the sky.
Despite this; I write.
You sing.
Author notes
to the guy I will fall in love with
A contest entry
- personal favorite by Virgoan.
2000 points, ended June 9, 2008, 64 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please be honest -
Comments
1 - 64 of 64
-
What a wondrous thought. To prepare to love and decide what you will respond to in a friend.
-
Short and beautifully molded as a poem.
Perfect in its succinct form.
Keep sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
-
simplicity of complexities of love I'm weird, lol
-
-
lolololol thank you anyway
-
-
And the songbird will keep singing... yes, she/you will, Nami...beautiful!
~ Nicolette
-
-
-
i am ready lol - i have just smiled and washed my mind
a good poem here remionding me of another poet in this site with the verse
-
-
lol really? Who?
-
-
excellent~
What beauty and personification you have penned in this short poem...
Wonderful and full of imagery...
To the guy who will win your heart..will be blown away by the poems you leave him on his pillow, desk or even the ref and computer..
Beautifully done sweetie
Hugs
Susan~~~
-
-
Hugs to you too, Susan! Thank you! Now, I'm blushing!
-
-
I Must agree with everybody else this a lovly write filled with emotion!! thanks for sharing!!! Keep up the great work, i look foward to reading more!!! Jess
-
-
Thank you so much Jess
-
-
Beautiful!
This poem is great and so beautiful.
Bravo! -
-
Thank you
-
-
bravo
Very short...very deftly done as per usual. I liked this poem muchly... bravo... bravo... bravo...
-
-
Thanks
-
-
sigh...this is simply beautiful.
-
-
Thank you.
-
-
Very nice ...
and very nicely done.
-
-
Thank you
-
-
Namita, this is an excellent entry and very tightly written. Some nice imagery too! Good luck!
-
-
Thank you Heath
-
-
this is very beautiful namita
great entry
-
-
Thank you Zayra
-
-
Wow... so this isn't about a certain person? Anyway, this is very vivid. I like how you combined the song and distance motifs here, nice work. Thank you for your entry.
~Diana
-
-
Thanks Diana
-
-
dang.
-
-
-
the beginning half got me.
-
-
look at you in that pic!
-
-
it the sexiest ever.
-
-
i have no picture at all. boo.
-
-
-
-
I was just thinking to copy and past the whole poem but that will not be fair... Perfect!
~Sonja~
-
-
Thanks Sonja
-
-
simple honesty goes a long way, don't you think?
-
The Poetess asks for honesty, it is my honest opinion that this is simply beautiful poetry without there being anything simple about it. A small observation and most definitely not a criticism is that perhaps the first word may be capitalized ? I especially liked the way the Poetess quantifies distance and is willing to bridge it, the reader became misty eyed and sighed a heart-smile, a pure pleasure to read, thankyou.
-
-
Thank you Yvette
-
-
well, if i wasn't already spoken for, and was about a million years younger...
you write so goodly, i fall apart at the seams
-
-
Awwww! Thanks
(HA! At last, I "aww"ed someone else. I wonder why other people "awww" me all the time. They don't know how evil I am on the inside)
Thanks
-
-
hey, you're female. the 'evil' part goes without needing to be said
-
-
I'm calling mom...
-
-
-
-
I like the comparison of distance to a song. It allows the reader to pesonalize the "if". Each reader can 'hear' their own song. That is a nice way to engage the reader. I also enjoy the use of trees having a voice, talking about the lovers. It gives a sense of 'wisdom' in pursuing love, in hoping for it, in realizing there is more beyond ourselves. And so we share with another. The only catch for me, seems to be L 6 and L 8. There may be some confusion as to who is actually singing if you " give my voice" to the lover. I enjoyed this greatly. Geo
-
-
Thanks Geo. Working on the poem.
-
-
"THAT" is simply quite lovely and, if you will pardon me, prompts this response;
If the distance between us-
Were but a song-
I would ride the note-
Of your melodic tune-
Over the rainbow-
To thy heart-
Penning prose of thee-
Upon the Milky Way’s-
Blackness of-
~ Eternity ~
Namita, you are indeed a prodigy
peace
len
-
-
WOW! That is such a beautiful poem! Thank you so much for reading my work.
-
-
You are beautiful. I love the last part. Indeed he will be a lucky guy.
-
-
Thank you Trina
-
-
i agree, he'll be a lucky guy...
this is wonderful
al
-
-
Thank you
-
-
And what a lucky guy he'll be! (or completely stupid if he doesn't reciprocate) ...
-
-
Thanks Kate... lol, currently, the guy is not reciprocating That's why I wrote for some other guy, lol
Thanks
-
-
he is ONE LUCKY GUY - now this is the most beautiful poem I've ever read, Namita - this is gorgeous
-
-
Thank you Tara
-
-
I see many who will bow to your heart...and one will have the most beautiful words to touch you...a melody to strum such delight to you...will be the song both your hearts will sing together
Mal
-
-
Thanks Mal
-
-
Such profound words. Simply wonderful. Juls
-
-
Thank you very much.
-
-
So very beautiful this is.... someday a wonderful guy will hear your song and appreciate that deep song of your heart, lovely one...a song that will stay and sing in both your eyes and his.
yes, this is beautimous, very much.
And hey, i want to be there when you and your guy sing that song
~ Nicolette
-
-
We'll come to your place and make love lol
Thanks
-
-
WHOOT!!!!
remember to knock first
-
-
sure lol
-
-
-
-
so so beautiful .... so few words to express such big love...
I know, I do know... that you will find this love and this joy and it will come to you... you've gotten plenty of time yet my dear girl... let the right one come around and he will
tis beautimous indeed
Gilly.x
-
-
Thanks Gilly
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 64 of 64
