The Earth quakes,
as I come to own my creamy center
Caked crisis crumbles from my wounds and aches
Tumbling onto this uncommon altar
Skinned and cured, she appears
Made bread from my woeful wheat
Wine from my mercy tears
Telling stories of so called sin,
to whoever breathes and hears
To whoever pears within
The ocean shakes,
undulating under my daybrake
Tantric tangles of taste unravel and awake
Finding fate in the cycles of the whirlwind
Four more breaths until we meet again
Still tasting that fruit,
just like back in Eden
Sliding along side a sacred snake
Meet the guardian
Whisper me some wonder so I can rise
Grief in my blood, hate in my eyes
Adam sold his soul for some lies
Maddened is my heart, somber are my sighs
The heavens storm,
into the night with vigilance and vigor
Into the space where the soul can transform
The stage where light grows even bigger
One by one, leaves on the vine
Completion nears,
for this is my last Earth lifetime
whats going on in your portals girls and boys?
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Timerift shifting: :D
I'm left hungry. Your fault entirely. Texture of the apple burns crisp in my sinful mouth. I am left to sift through dust, patching each grain into a crystal shard. Rhyme and reason consume what is left of me and you. Good Job, Poetess.
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you don't watch torchwood do you?
thanks for the comment
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wow...this is expolsive! wonderful piece you put together here! each section builds off the last as a story should be told. the last days of the beginning or vice versa. there's so many lines i like i can not just quote one, so i'll just end by saying the whole piece was wonderful!
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woops forgot to applaud
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It is, wow. I love it. It was beautiful and had a great flow. Even if I didnt understand it in parts, it was still very interesting, and very touching. *adding bookmark*
~cheers -
WOW!!!
Words do no no justice to the brilliance of the breathtaking beauty of your masterpiece! I am spellbound and speechless... Luckily I found your mahvahlous poem tonight, and I applaud its awesome imagery and feel the magnificent and metaphoric beauty rising within every syllable rolling through my peaceful mindscape... This is absolutely fabulous!! What's going on in my visionary portal tonight is a deep secret that only the wind whispers swirling within my airbrushed brain upon my last earth's lifeline know... Great job, Poetess!!! Peace, Cyn 
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Too Great For Words!
But im still going to add some. This was awesome. AWESOME. Just lyrical in a way, the words just flowed like water from my lips. I had to read it twice just because the poem was so great.
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This is exquisite!
You keep raising the bar.
This is a definite favorite of mine.
How did I miss this!
Stunning ...absolutely stunning.
The title , the form , the outrages mood it sets...
it speaks of forever...
...wine from my mercy tears.....unbelievable!
the third stanza is magic.
I am left with no words,
your gift is obvious,
sharing it with me is a true blessing.
Thank you gypsy.
Bless Your poets Heart,
LOWELL.
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this is saddening and intense and there is so much tumult to it - it frightens me and saddens me and exhilarates me and exhausts me and confuses me and frustrates me and it's chaotic and beautiful and i feel all of these emotions and all of these descriptions swirl about me as i read your words
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line 12 sounds a bit out of place, by using "my wind" the poem loses some effect, perhaps re-phrasing it a bit would be good. personal oppinion. it's a good write, well done.
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passion amplified
good write here.. oh what a lover you must make... lol did i say that aloud? .. oh well it's true but in the same asspect i wouldnt want to piss you off
keep it up ... good write
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I want cake now and there isn't any in the house.....
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here you are! thanks for the comment
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...Hmmmm... You have me thinking.. I Read this write 3 times in a row, and it still hasn't totaly sank in!!! I think the way it had a great rhythm and clever rhyme scheme, but some of it to me was forced, but the imagery covered it really well!!! Wonderful write, Keep penning!
~*Cristy*~ -
Very powerful! I love the flow and dark feeling in this poem. It gives off an angry hopelessness that seems almost calming to me. The words flow and roll off the toungue like they were meant to be put together in such order. Brilliant.
~Rose~
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sup
I liked this. The words were very beautiful and poetic and displayed alot of flair and drama that doesnt sound in the least corny.Its a complicated poem but it is entertaining.Good job
PS, your freggin hot
DonutNinja -
pachyderms playing parchisi in my portals. Your poem resonates with consonance and alliteration, with yearning and need and with a great rhythm and clever rhyme scheme. Tony is right about /altar/ I'm not sure about tense in the first stanza, whether /made/ should be /makes/. There are great chants in the poem, in particular /maddened is my heart, sombre are my sighs/ which is good to say aloud. Why /four more breaths until we meet again/? I like it that I don't understand, that this poem contains almost mythical mystery.
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I love this line....
Four more breaths until we meet again
and this part too
Whisper me some wonder so I can rise
Grief in my blood, hate in my eyes
Adam sold his soul for some lies
Maddened is my heart, somber are my sighs
this was fantastic. It was full of want and made me really think about each line.
Thanks!
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Interesting, it leaves me wondering because I don't know exactly what you are trying to say, but I know it has a sad tension. I do however think you you might mean "altar," instead of "alter" in the 4th line.
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