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Screaming At God

Missing image

i:

 

My heart, a butterfly
confined to gilded cage,
and God a cruel child,

laughing in my face
whilst tearing my wings,
separating me
from what makes me real.

Sharp silver tongues
brand me inadequate,
preach my insignificance,

sodomizing my virgin flesh
as I writhe, tormented and shamed,
yet his bloodlust is insatiable.


ii:

 

Fueled by devastation,
each crimson orgasm
feeds His sadistic lust,

as I try desperately
to quell His savage desires,
craving pain to purge abscesses
as his lethal assault rages on.

 

iii:

 

Crippled by fear, abandoned;
in fetal position, sacrificed
upon the killing floor.

He watches as,
stripped of my dignity,
I fall to ruin,
cry myself to sleep;

screaming at God
to let it end,
a mockery of my prayers.

Author notes

Option 2

This isn't personal, but rather from the viewpoint of a character of mine, who is a chronic self-harmer.

Possible artists:
Evanescence or Within Temptation.

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Swan song gold member
    September 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Read the rules please Single gold winning poem only sorry nice poem u may remove and replace


  • Lsh-x
    August 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Ever so deep, this is a dark and powerful piece!

    Keep going you got a talent!

    Thanks for entering and good luck!

    Laura-Stone-Heart-x


  • slippingofftheedge
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    imagery was fantastic

    but for the contest I wanted something that hadn't already won trophies


  • OnceUponAMind silver member
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very amazingly deep and emotional write...

    I loved these lines especially:

    "My heart, a butterfly
    confined to gilded cage" An amazing visual here, "my heart a butterfly" - very creative!

    "Sharp silver tongues
    brand me inadequate,
    preach my insignificance," Another great visual line..

    "sodomizing my virgin flesh
    as I writhe, tormented, shamed
    yet his bloodlust is insatiable." I can just feel the depth of sadness, confusion, and anger, all rolled into these lines... Nice touch.

    "Crippled by fear, abandoned;
    in fetal position, sacrificed
    upon the killing floor," More amazing visuals - as "crippled by fear", "in fetal position", and using the expression of a "killing floor" really ends this stanza with a great twist... - Nice.

    "screaming at God
    to let it end,
    a mockery of my prayers" And to go out with a bang, on God... I know persoanlly as well how the feeling of betrayal and mistrust, and abuse from another person can make you feel as if God isn't really there... How could he let this happen?



    For not being a personal poem about yourself, you really put a lot of depth, character and feeling to your write. I am going to have to say, overall - you've penned a fine piece of work here - And a well deserving shiny Gold to go with it

    Hope to see more from you

    Amber


  • Bruised.Roses
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    first off wow and I think evanescen would sing this and I would love it as much as any of their work as they are the BEST BAND EVER!!!!!!!! this was so beautiful the words you chose were perfect to express this emotion thank you for entering and good luck!


  • The.Tango.Emily
    July 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was fantastic!
    Thanks for entering!


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    WOW! what an absolutely frighteningly intense poem. Not really my type of thing, but damn, you've written this extremely well! Your imagery is out of a horror movie, so clear and well defined, I can see each scene in my head.
    EXCELLENT! Thanks for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Kind of confused me a little, but nice sentiments.


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    June 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on gold.

    Screw the Christian idea of God.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    This just tore our souls in half!

    so deserving of the Gold!
    Throwing roses at your feet...my gawd..
    the way you make the words bow down to you is
    amazing!
    ear/Seattle


  • Redrusty66
    May 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great title. Construction was perfect and it had great flow. Excellent use of wordplay and scheme. Excellent write and I enjoyed it greatly.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    April 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautifully written and reminds me of one of my characters you never cease to amaze me hun I luffles you lor lor


  • Ravenblood
    April 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is brilliant! I loved it, Good Luck in the contest.

1 - 13 of 13