Thunderstorms are nothing
to the lightning in your eyes;
the laughter in your gaze overpowers
any earthquake...
as you glance at me.
Once a tidal wave, now you're a tsunami,
and I wonder how it is
that I've been crushed in your waves
without noticing anything
but the slow spiral of bubbles
between us--
and the ocean's briny chill
on my damp palms.
Do you hear the tornado's howl?
Perhaps it is just echoing
from somewhere in my chest--
my toes tingle,
and a gasp rushes
like dust through the air.
In a hailstorm of seconds,
the ice chips at stone;
etching each feature of your face--
perfect lips parted,
brows curving
over lashes which frame
those perfect sea-storm eyes...
and then you turn away.
Again I'm lost to the clouds
in the rolling silence
and muffled thunder
of being everydayme.
Author notes
I've been trying to polish this for a while...I can't seem to get it right.
username: catauthor
I have been trying to work on "show, don't tell." Is this okay in that aspect? If not, any suggestions?
Thanks again!
A contest entry
- Teen Idol 7: Round 11 [Top 3 - Finals] Part 3/5 by Tangled Angle.
650 points, ended May 2, 2008, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I can relate to this so much. This really spoke to me.
This was beautiful.

