Please marry me; come be my love
My soul to fill, lift it above
To higher things than I can see
That I may be all I can be.
Come sing to me and be my song
Your angel voice for which I long
Will lift me to a higher plane
That I might never be the same.
Come with me, make me complete
When I lie in your arms to sleep
A cradle warm to keep my dreams
As it was meant to be, it seems.
We two were meant to be as one
To live and love under the sun
And love a love to last an age
To write our names upon this page.
If you were just to marry me
My love, my life, my soul mate be
Then I would give to you my all
And lift you up if you should fall.
Please marry me; come be my love
Our souls to fill, lift them above
To higher things than we can see
That we may be all we can be.
A contest entry
- Quickie! Word Prompt by Lotus-Mama.
550 points, ended April 28, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Help me believe by schellou.
330 points, ended September 19, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Very pretty but....
This is nice but i need a poem to help me believe I can give my heart and not be afraid of getting it broken, good luck -
A lovely piece of thought composed within these lines. The emotion here is so endearing, weaving a beautiful amorous reflection into words. Great flow throughout! A truly beautiful write, well deserving of gold!!!
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congrats
very good job !
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My, my, my.... Beautiful! You changed my mind with this one, my friend. Outstanding write. Filled my soul with love.
"Come sing to me and be my song
Your angel voice for which I long
Will lift me to a higher plane
That I might never be the same."
Flattering, loving, romance. If she could only stay out of your arms long enough to finish reading
"If you were just to marry me
My love, my life, my soul mate be
Then I would give to you my all
And lift you up if you should fall."
Absolutely amazing! I'm awestruck! Thank You for entering!!!
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so sweet this is
a nice flow & rhyme...
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Soft , Lovely, Evergreen ...
and what a wondrous invitation. The background is perfect for the poem.
To be soulmates and to be all that one can be, is just about the most wondrous state of love.
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...oh, and it also reminded me of that song from "Valley Of The Dolls"
" Come live with me
and be my love
if only for a day." ?? 'member?
Okay. I'm done. Musician that I am, I'll be silent.
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awhhhhh bROTHER!
What's that phrase in "Wizard of Oz" when the water hit the witch? "I'm mmeeeeeeeeeeltingggggggggg".
This pulls a solid mass into a liquid puddle of LOVE!! Yes..
Adored it. I better stop before I say too much and your poem gets jealous.
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awww this is a gorgeous write and the rhyme and meter was absolutly perfect and it flowed with a sweet scent to it hehe
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"Come marry me and be my love"... where have I seen that? Or is it so good that it just seems like I should have seen it in one fo the great classical poems?
I really enjoyed this. The rhyme and meter were absolutely perfect - and it was just sooooo sweet!
You always make me smile!
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Yes, this is familiar. "The Passionate Shepherd To His Love" by Christopher Marlowe begins thus:
"Come live with me and be my love
And we will all the pleasures prove . . . "
My first line does sound similar:
"Come marry me and be my love . . . "
This was not intentional, but it just goes to show you that there is nothing new under the sun -- which I lifted intentionally.
I suppose I could change it.
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I definitely wouldn't change it. As you said "there is nothing new under the sun"... I have always been taught that, as a writer, you cannot possibly create something completely new and original - everything has been written already, since Shakespeare's time or even before.
It is in your own unique style that your work becomes original... though the ideas and thougths are similar too ideas and thoughts of poets who toiled long ago, and will be copied by poets centuries from now.
I loved this poem, and I'd leave it as is.
Sorry for the long response... I'm rambling... lol -
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I've made a small change that makes it a little less familiar -- see what you think. If the change doesn't work, I could change it back or try something new.
Once you pointed this out, it was familiar to me too, and I'm glad I could find the poem -- I would have been up all night trying to remember where it was from.
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You know, I actually really like the new version better! I love how that one slight change is like a complete makeover for the poem.
The rhythm of the new line fits in better with the line immediately after it, also.
Great job!
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