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Forever Falling

How can we fight this feeling,
if our hearts just keep on beating.
Our smile keeps on smiling,
but there are time our tears are falling.

How sweet it feels when we fall in love,
we can never blame ourselves if we fall.
Fall in love with a hell or heaven,
come what may the important is we love.

We may close sometimes our hearts,
and not open it when somebody knocks.
But no matter how tight we close it,
time will come we'll let somebody in.

At the right time at the right place,
we will face a new phase of loving.
We may stop for a while in falling in love,
but it will still be forever falling.

As long as we live our lives,
destiny will just play around our feelings.
Falling to somebody who's just right,
and may let us ring the wedding bells.

There are circumstances maybe,
the bells may stop from ringing.
But even if a chapter is ending,
there will still be a forever falling.

Author notes

option 6

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • FluorescentFixation
    July 18
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    Hi there--

    I liked your repetition of the phrase in the last line. It was phrased pretty uniquely and just stood out to me. I think you have the right concept going on in your poem and you explain your version of love well, but that's just it, you explain. I think you could really improve on the amount of emotion in this piece.

    But otherwise this was a good write, good luck in the contest(s)!


  • xSarahx
    July 7
    Edit | Reply
    Aww... I loved this. Great job! Good luck in the contest.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this has been entered into a lot of contests. This is a very true poem, we have all felt these emotions and you have portrayed them very well. Best to you


  • BlackBloodyRose
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    u forgor ur name in the author box. i'm not quiet sure how this fits my contest. explain please but it was a great poem


  • Beauty Of Silence
    June 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was good! i rally liked this one! >.< It was strong and held powerful emotions! Your imagery was good too Lovely write with sweet romance! I thought your last line wrapped this whole poem up very well! best of luck in the contest!

    ~Ranji


  • Connor Blackbird
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm. Not a bad write in that it doesn't make any huge mechanical mistakes. It's just that... it seemed like the fire wasn't really in this one. It was like romance without the passion - you laid out the A-to-B progression of an ideal relationship without ever making it sound like something you were striving for or against. It was like listening to you narrate a documentary on someone else's relationship. Again, there was nothing wrong with the way you wrote this but for the fact that to really affect your audience emotionally, they have to know that you are as much a part of the write as you are. I fully understand you likely meant every word here, and I don't mean to minimize what feelings you had about writing this. But at least in conveying it to a reader it lacked a spark.


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a nice and lovely piece of romantic simplicity

  • Judith Chandler
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Good luck with the opening and closing of the door. It made me think of "we've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them." That's not doors but it seems applicable.

  • ecrivain01
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Too many problems here ...

    for me to enumerate them all. I will mention that the rules specifically state no inverted lines:

    We may close sometimes our hearts

    however that's just one of a number of things. You need to take another look at this.


  • ourgirlFriday
    May 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Forever Falling in love again

    Yes that was the theme of the movie, and the most surprising part for me. Very nice flow, for the most part. Keep on writing, and best of luck in the contest!


  • Cat10
    May 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering! this is a great poem! though in this line "Our smile is keep on smiling," you may want to change "is keep" to "keeps" "is keep" sounds off a little to me..but maybe its just me, you did a wonderful job with this poem though! good luck!


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    April 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. A most beautifully emotional poem, your final stanza really locks this in nice and tight.

    ♥
    Thank you & Best of luck
    Stay safe
    ~Manda


    • kyrkx
      April 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for your comment... i am glad that i won.. ^_^

1 - 13 of 13