All the lilies in my collection
are but a shadow, a poor reflection
of the prettiest one I know;
One that radiates and glows
with rarest beauty from within;
and yet it still needs to be seen
of all the flowers that's about
one more lovelier without!
White lilies speak of innocence -
They're laden with most hideous sins
when I compare them to her heart;
but yet, the most surprising part
's how they all with envy blush
when they behold her foliage lush
a picture of most tender youth
In contrast they seem old, uncouth.
A yellow lily does portray
a mood that's jovial and gay;
But why does she then sulk today?
E'en bumble bees keep far away
The reason is quite clear I see -
Another draws the sun and bee
within her near vicinity
My lily's spreading gaiety!
Day Lilies speak of coquetry
When Sun appears at day's entry
slowly her flowers orange, bright
open to flirt with rays of light.
But oh, sweet lily of the day
who skillfully doth flirt and play
though you may need this cunning art,
One doth excel with modest heart!
Alas! her splendid beauty rare,
beyond my reach, I cannot share
her presence sweet from day to day;
She grows in some place far away.
She grace the garden of someone
who slothfully his garden runs
And I, who knows her worth 'll never tire
to walk where I her beauty can admire!
Author notes
A tribute to someone I know!
Written December 15th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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So Sweet!
Wow..you really are a romantic.
I try to write sweet poems, but they usually end up being kinda depressing! haha...well, i like your rhyming, it seems natural and helps the poem flow sweetly. I also like the comparison of the lilies. Very sweet poem! I liked reading this...thx 
Love, Jessica -
I love this poem. It is so beautiful everyone thinks that roses are the international flower of love.But I love lilies. Espiacialy white ones. if i could fill ou any dream of mine it woud be to be stuck and lost from all civilasation in a jungle filled with lilies. again i completely adore this poem and i just love how it flowes it doesnt sound forced or anything it just flowes.
Haley -
Again I have to sigh at this beauty. You have a way with words that soothes my soul. HUgs and bites, Lady Raven
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Great rhythm and imagery. I loved it to bits.
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oh this is absolutly wonderful it was so well put together and described so beautifuly. I love the feel and flow of this lovely piece, What more can I say but wow!!!!. Anyways I am off this very second to go see what other beautiful writes you have for me to read. I realy hope they are as good as this one or I will be sadly disapointed.
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Thanks for the corrections, Dragoness. I made the changes. Please forgive the errors since English is not my mother tongue. I'm glad for this site, though, where there are so much constructive criticism.
Interesting that you mention you have a problem with the last two verses of the first stanza. I was a bit weary to use the word "without" since I was expecting it might confuse the reader. The word "without" can be used as an adverb that means "on the outside" but I think this is not very common in modern English.
So in the first few lines of this stanza I described this "lily"'s (because it is a metaphor for a person) inner beauty. And the last three lines refer to her prettiness (outer beauty). I hope this makes sense?
Edited on Dec 19, 1:17 because ''. -
Beautiful tribute to lilies, especially the special one. Kinda like, "shall I compare thee to a rose" or something, I love your style here. Nice work.
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Love this. (Gasp) A poem with more than one metaphor, that I actually understand.
Very nice.
Jade -
Wonderful!
I love this. I am seeing some lost or current loves as your "lillies" here. Great metaphor! I see someone else caught a few grammar slips, (is to are), but no prob. there. The flow is great too. (Matches the pic too!) Keep up the good work!
Take Care-TGR -
Terrific
It's a beautiful tribute. I love it. A few suggestions I would make, would be:
1. Change "is" to "are" in the following:
"All the lilies in my collection
is but a shadow, a poor reflection"
2. "gayity" should be spelled "gaiety" or "gayety".
3. I didn't understand the last two lines of the first stanza, even after I read it a fourth time, but maybe that is just me.
4. WRITE MORE LIKE THIS! I LOVED it. It is an awesome poem. I like the old-fashioned feel of it and the way it just flowed right along. It's wonderful. I can't wait to read more.
Blessings,
~Tawnya~
Edited on Dec 18, 10:01 because 'I can't type worth a darn!'. -
Ah, I must confess I did some research on the internet (This confession of mine will hopefully not take away the old, romantic mood I tried to convey in this poem!). I came upon a site that shows the meanings attached to different flowers. Very helpful and enlightning information! Go here http://www.apocalypse.org/pub/u/hilda/flang.html if you're interested.
Yes, although the subject is painful I had great fun writing this poem. Thanks for the kind words, everyone. -
and a very sweet tribute at that- it seems like you cherish this person and it's tragic that she is willingly being taken for granted by someone else. i liked how you applied different personalities to each kind of lily- i've always felt like different flowers stood for different emotions, like how you're supposed to give yellow roses to a friend and red roses to the one you love.
Edited on Dec 16, 10:36 p.m. because ''. -
Amazing poem, lined with deeper meanings,and a fantastic rhyme structure that definitely doesn't take away from the poem.
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