A midnight pigeon cries "Deora ar mo chroí"
thrusting sorrow through me as I bathe in misery.
I feel my mettle fracture, seared with acid soap,
whose foul wretched film suppresses any hope.
I swear I'll flee this chamber, escaping with relief,
but once again my soul is lanced, I fall in disbelief.
But then I spy your trinket, like an over-ripened grape,
a promise of sweet comfort in a savory escape.
I'll only take a nibble, just one bite I swear...
finally giving in to the devil's damning snare.
Author notes
The title (and use in the first line) is Gaelic, with chroi being pronounced like "cree". In setting my goals for this contest, that was the oldest language I knew... and I admit I am not fluent but I am pretty sure it is correct. I also know that using "the devil" begins sliding into that territory of religion a bit, but I figured it was vague enough not to break the rules. I am new to challenges like this, really only writing whatever I wanted up until this point, but I enjoyed taking on the task. Hopefully you enjoy it... thanks!
A contest entry
- Wild Word Bank - 10/10/20 by Gypsie Ink.
450 points, ended April 28, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Deffinately a dark-ish piece. I like the way you worked in Gaelic into the beginning. Although I can't speak it, it's my favorite language. I liked the imagery and the sence of desperation and final abandonment at the end. Very creative, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
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Congrats on the gold, you sincerely deserve it (especially with the worked in gaelic... subtle, but definitely there [aka it isn't english], the whole thing reads beautifully)
=> Jess
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Awesome Mark...The Gaelic language...how intriguing and It fitted into the poem so well...word bank ...all that
well you obviosuly did it more then justice when it has a gold trohpy attached to it now
Well done, many congratulations
Cin
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Wonderful!
First off - you used my favorite language of Gaelic and the rhyme and the slight dark of the write...you have penned an amazing piece and I so enjoyed it several times over!
Thank you for your entry and Best of luck in the contest. -
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Thank you so much for the great comment and great contest. I loved it. I only wish I knew more gaelic off the top of my head, but it will always remain a goal to improve with it. I enjoyed putting it into poetry, though, so thank you much for the inspiration. I hope to do it again soon!
All my best to you and yours...
Mark
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