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Isolation

It's cold in here,
  this corner, and crammed -
there is only room for one, who,
usually, is me;
This is the spot I'm reserved.

Funny, isn't it
how the shadows drape over my body
  like invisibility;
You cannot see me but cleary,
I can see you, moving about
amongst the group of
  brightly coloured people,
every move that you make recorded in my head.

I can get jealous of your social richness,
your simple mind, your face
  heavy in paint.
Sometimes I wish I can think
  like you, but then
I like being the mysterious one every
once in awhile.

It's a shame that they don't give me a
  chance to shine,
brightly coloured, like them,
but I think this may have been of my own making -
this cold and isolated corner
probably does not even exist;

  after all, there can be no corners in a space
with no walls.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • 20.37 / 25

    Another nicely written piece that we all can find something that relates to us.


  • Griswold gold member
    August 21

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done, great closing line. Thank you so much for entering the "Fight for the Gold" contest, it is greatly appreciated. Best of luck to you in the judging... Scott

  • Listening to Avril Lavinge's I'm With You-
    Really made this so real, you should listen to it. if you havent already.
    Great write.
    Sophie

  • I can get jealous of your social richness,
    your simple mind, your face
    heavy in paint.
    ...

    for some reason, i really like how you phrased that. it was so unique how you formed that, and i was just blown away by it. well written piece of poetry, and i liked the message you portray. thank you for entering ! ♥

  • very good poem. you've got 20 points for this poem giving you a total of 77 points. thanks for entering the contest and best of luck to you. kahy.

  • I love it.

  • Mickie27
    November 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You were able to feel everything you have a natural gift for showing your emotion. I loved the flow and emotion

  • Judith Chandler
    October 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like being the mysterious one/every once in a while. An original write, which I think does fit in the contest.

    Thank you for submitting it.


  • trekkergirl
    October 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh wow now this one I can relate to very much. I often feel like I am invisible and that I am watching people and they can't or won't see me. That life goes on for everyone and it just passes me by. Good intense write. Flows wonderfully and holds ones attention very well. thanks for joining in my contest.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done. I liked the scatteredness and the kind of thought pattern that seemed to change somewhat.


  • Simply Simple
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... Well first things first. I get first comment! yay!!! *first comment dance* Alright then, here goes the other not so important stuff. (Just kidding.)

    This was amazing. I loved the flow and emotion behind it. The deeper meaning was simply amazing and this poem is just on a level all its own. Perfectly penned. Don't change a thing!

    Infinate clappys my friend. etc.

1 - 11 of 11