I felt so strong about you,
I could live on love alone,
Because I feed you night and day,
My mind is fully blown.
I’m falling out of love,
My hearts on overdrive,
I’ve lost all consistent strength,
To keep this love alive.
Author notes
sometimes you just fall out of love..."A Beautiful Lie" - Song by 30 seconds to mars [ of course..LOVE THEM] Option 7, Galyksadie
A contest entry
- Options Contest by Simply Simple.
1000 points, ended June 7, 2008, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The three finalists have been chosen! ♥ Time to vote, ppl! by omg-its-sara.
630 points, ended May 10, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ages 14 and under: WHAT TOUCHES YOU INSIDE? by Sky Prince Ireland.
300 points, ended May 25, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Become a Favourite! by BabyBun.
400 points, ended November 3, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Peer Pressure Contest!! You decide the trophy winners!! by Zenda-Lokki.
1700 points, ended January 7, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What's your favourite part?What could be done to make it better?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Why is love such a populat topic. I can't relate to it at all! But compaired to all those I've read this is, meh, a good one I'd say.
Good luck -
this is such a beautiful, short treasure, full of golden words and a jewel of a subject, I'll remember this one for a long while.
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thanks for all you guys advice, as much as i love it, im not a proffesional poet, im 15 years old and im certianly not doing it for talent or anything, its for myself. i wrote this poem for a different contest, and i had inspiration - i dont think my take on things can really be wrong because its how i feel i like rhyme, i hate imagery because i suck at it, which shows because its something you guys thought i needed work on. i love hearing feedback so thanks very much...xx some of things you guys have said are your own opinion which of course i respect, but disagree.. so I won't change some of it.
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Good poem, but like AutumnsFlame suggested, try and implement some imagery. That would add a new dimension to this poem
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One thing I would suggest to you is--- Imagery. Come up with something that you don't think has ever been done before. If you're going to use love as a theme, I suggest trying a metaphor, or put a twist on it that isn't common. That's hard to do in a short poem sometimes, but it CAN be done.
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I think I felt like this before, when I was head over heels with this one guy...I haven't thought about him for a long time, but this poem just makes me remember. Thank you.
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wow, i love this, it is so great. simply amazing.
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Fantastically written poem spoken with words from the heart.
Good luck in the contest.
Del
Zenda-Lokki -
Hi - thanks for entering my contest - I enjoyed this. Best of luck!
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Very sweetly written. Great job!
Dani. -
wow this is a beautiful poem i love how you have wrote that your heart is on overdrive not many people would use that metaphore and it seems to work well, i also love the background
Keep up the writing
ɛiɜ ~Amy
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I like this. "My heart on overdrive" It making up for the lost love. Perfect words. Nice job =D
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"Don't stop....believin'"...it's a song...
GEEZ, I feel like that on occasion, but always just when I start thinking that, he does something I absolutely crave like...idk, he smiles goofy or he says something dumb. lol. And then I fall in love again. Don't give up hope. Hopelessness will ruin a relationship, I've learned the hard way. -
Good poem. Thanks for entering.
Good luck.
Brian -
ive changed the colours now
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Interesting. Short but good. Excellent even. Colors are a bit hard to read though... but that's my only complaint. Nice write. Best of luck.
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WOOOOOOOOOOOW! This is good! i love your word choice and how well this poem flows. Thanks for entering my contest!
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awww it happens and you said it so easily. it is short, simple, perfect. great write. i love it!!!
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