painted divisions hide the truth from a
senseless house without a garden of desolate
imagination
can I dare to see the world or do I hide with
somber feelings of anger
indecision has planted seeds of hesitation to
grudgingly give more or to become a sole
figure of disgrace
thinking of disappointments leaves me cold
and unresponsive to any harvest
fences lie to those without but provide a gate
to nature's gift of mentality
Author notes
picture prompt (click to view)
http://allpoetry.com/images/ext/Contest/2401/769.jpg?1209303634
sketch by RS Adams Jr
A contest entry
- A WALK IN YOUR GARDEN by Richard Adams, A Winkling #76. by Lyndon.
2800 points, ended May 18, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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a wonder...this poem is a wonder...
...it is a wonderful poem and you have written it so well; I find it difficult to critique, to find anything to improve...no, I can't find anything.
I love the way you manage to write such meaning without any punctuation. Yet, I still feel the emotion and I still have a sense of something different.
It certainly gives me food for thought about my place in this world.
Succinct , free verse with plenty of ideas to provide ideas on which to contemplate. A unique view of the prompt, and an apt play on words - with too many fences...while the gate is there to be opened.
Well expressed. You caught the essence of my combination of art and written ideas for the contest, and you wrote well about the union.
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Bravo! Standing in applause!
Very nicely done. I love where you went with this prompt and your metaphor is excellent.
The lack of punctuation works very well in this piece because it is consistent throughout. It takes a skilled hand to lend pause through line breaks. I commend you on this talent and would love to do it as well as this.
Wonderful work. A beautiful poem. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Excellent
Wow! What amazing insight to this prompt.
fences lie to those without but provide a gate
to nature's gift of mentality
that line had me thinking of the old song "signs" Telsa did it as well as the three man electrical band.
"You put up a fence to keep me out but to keep all the nature in"
Amazing write keep up the great work and best of luck in the contest.
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