Dear You
You know I'll never love you
But you know I always will
I'll never ever be there
But I'll always be by your side
Holding your hand when you need the comfort,
Hitting you over the head when you're being bad,
Giving you a hug when you need the love,
Laughing at your unfunny jokes when you need a boost in moral.
I'll never be there to do that
Yet I always will
I'll be there when you're scared
I'll be there when you're feeling brave
I'll be there when you're smiling
And I'll be there when you're crying too
I'll never ever desert you
But I already have
I'll never ever leave you
But I'm already gone
I promise to love you
And I always will
I love you my darling You.
Love, Me
Author notes
As you can undoubtedly see this doesn't make the most sense in the world but you know what? I don't care. Because I know it comes from the heart. And I write it for no-one but Me, Me and You. (Yes You is an actually person, No their name is not You, it just worked better that way.)
A contest entry
- Guaranteed Comments! II by Nam.
1750 points, ended June 8, 122 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Even when things in poems don't make sense, it doesn't matter. It makes sense to the writer. Keep it up Hannah
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This sounds just like my poem "I Hate You On Paper".
Honestly, to me anyway, this wasn't confusing. It depicts the struggle of wanting to love and wanting to let go.
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Yes, confusing but true, right, that's the way people are, we are trained to 'be ourselves' and then someone needs something, we want to give but don't. You captured this confusion that we all feel very well and with great directness.
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I think that it is very sweet and personal.
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"Laughing at your unfunny jokes when you need a boost in moral." - too many filler words, I feel you could cut down the filler words to make it more in line with the form of the poem.
I believe you wish a comma after "Love" in the last line for it to read "Love, Me"; it's the same as if your name was "Me".
It's a bit rough throughout, it could be more condensed, and perhaps even telling - I get what you're saying but for the reader overall it's not telling at all.
-Nam -
I really like this, maybe I am just making stuff up but it seems to make sense to me. Kind of like you are talking about a dead person who is always with you but not really there. Which is very sweet, the terms you use make it seem like a close relationship, it is very beautiful elfkins, probably my favourite of yours so far.
I notice you entered this in a Nam contest, he'll be mean, but don't worry, that is his way, he is like that to everyone, it is his thing. Secretly I think he is nice under all the bluster.
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On the contrary, I think it makes perfect sense!
Been there... done that...
It is such a human experience that you've captured here, and you've done a very good job with it! It reminds me of long distance relationships for sure, but also those "we're friends but can't be lovers" scenarios. Another very strong piece... nicely done.
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Awesome, I know how you feel and the feelings you're going through. I myself have been in a long distance relationship, and there are many people I care for who live far away.
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How true Darling... I know exactly what you mean! I have done things like this too
And sometimes, You.. yes just you.. is the perfect way to say it! Great job on this one darling!!!
and love
Mom
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