In a drunken slumber,
I decided I wanted more,
I put on my shirt, shoes,
and headed for the door.
I herd a scream ,
from Mrs. Johnson who,
stood there in dazed trance,
she pointed at me screamed,
pervert, damn I forgot to put on my pants.
I ran back inside with a red face,
as pants I tried to find,
she kept screaming pervert,
but her 20 year old daughter seemed not to mind.
Her name was Emma Jean, she came,
to visit her mother now and then,
she was the kind of women that turned,
little boys into full grown men.
Ok jeans are on, I look out the window,
Emma Jean is taking her mother inside,
Jesus this is silly it was a mistake,
why do I hide?
I go to close the curtain Emma Jean
turns to look my way,
she smiles and gives me a wink,
Jesus did she really just do that
and for me, damn how much have I
had to fucken drink?
I depart from my house, begin,
the walk to the liquor store,
God I can hardly walk right now
but I am still wanting more.
The 1 litre bottle should cover
it for the night, back home I begin
to think,
of the beautiful Emma Jean
and that cheeky little wink.
Ok fine my thoughts are dirty
Emma Jean is a walking fuck,
I hear a scream hey Mr,
watch out for the truck.
Damn that was a close one
the driver yells out watch It
you silly prick,
hey he would not be so mad
if he had the daydream I had,
Emma Jean going down on your dick.
I make it back to my front door,
I fumble looking for the keys,
I feel a hand that’s not mine slide into,
my pocket produces them with ease.
A voice whispers in my ear,
hurry up pervert we don't,
have a lot of time to kill,
Damn that’s Emma Jean’s voice,
God I feel a cold chill.
I get the door open she,
slams it shut behind us,
she push me against the wall,
her tongue begins to thrust.
It dances over mine
as her hand goes down my crotch,
she sucks on my ear, and moans,
I have wanted this so much.
Within seconds we are naked,
I feel like sea biscuit as she,
rides me on the bed,
Jesus I feel like I am going to spew
God get that thought out of your head.
Emma Jean takes this look for pleasure,
she gives me a wicked smile,
I am getting tired pervert,
you take the controls for a while.
God if this is a dream
may I never wake, and there,
is one more thing you can do,
When I am giving it to Emma Jean,
please don't make me spew.
I gave Emma Jean 4 minutes,
she will never forget,
She screams did you just cum in me,
I did not think you would cum just yet.
I told her I am sorry is there,
anything I can do?
She replied if I fall pregnant
the kid is coming to you.
But lets not think the worse,
I have to leave at 4,
do you want to worry,
or nail me some more,
When Emma Jean did leave,
it was quarter to five,
she looked so rejuvenated,
I was barley alive.
See you soon pervert,
were the last things
she said,
I turned in for the night,
to rest my pounding head.
In the morning when I woke,
I wondered if it had all been,
a dream,
thanks to my now empty buddy,
I call Jim Beam.
10 months later I got,
the answer was it a dream,
it came in a basket on my
door step in the form of a scream.
A note was with it,
I thought great this is,
just my luck,
now I wish I had
of been hit by that truck.
So there you have it,
don't drink and hump,
always use a condom,
to avoid the lump.
Never drink the whiskey,
they call Jim beam,
and never live next door,
to a lady with a daughter
named Emma Jean.
Author notes
Just something iI came up with bored at home nothing on tv hey don't you people judge me dam it lol hope you enjoy. option 4
A contest entry
- POLITICALLY CORRECT: Adult Humor Men Only "Options" by BluesMan.
525 points, ended November 11, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
The moral of this story is "No Glove No Love" Great story and quite funny as well Thank you for entering my entering my contest
PS I will finish judging tomorrow I need you to put the option you chose in you AN
Thanks
Bill
-
It made me giggle, and a tad worried. I don't like the over-use of the swear-words, or of "God", just doesn't seem necessary, but it is quite realistic, as far as porn goes
If you might work on the punctuation, it could be a lot easier to read - I found that the words flowed, but I didn't know where they flowed from because the commas weren't in the right place.
Thanks for sharing something very different with me.
Ladame
-
Ok then. . . .
I might be a little young for this one,but all the same it is an excellent write. . . i love it -
hehe... Nice one! This is quite funny... Though the flow was off in some places, this was an enjoyable piece...
Great job
-
wow... this is damn good... i was laughing right along with it and then at the end i was oh shitting with ya... better learn to wrap that stick... lol...
I think this was really good and glad you shared and glad i licked on you...
-
-
lol suppose to be clicked not licked...!
-
-
Haha. Very funny and original. I might suggest changing your punctuation a bit. Put periods/semicolons where you have a comma or remove the comma altogether to help the flow e.g.
"Emma Jean takes this look for pleasure;
she gives me a wicked smile.
I am getting tired pervert;
you take the controls for a while."
Great work though!
-
Must be time for me to comment first read of the day james brother dearest there is a lesson to be learnt on a few levels....practice safe sex is a must and not to kiss and tell well i admit you did more than kiss enjoyed this when i first read it you really do have a way to bring out the best in a humorous number .... this is when you get bored james you can get bored more often. Very well crafted the lines flow as the story unfolds ... think the best part about your work is that you can imagine all that you say happening in real time. Brilliant .... now to stop laughing.....you have a wicked twisted mindset
-
Oh my god this one gave me a huge laugh! Amazingly done! Your a damn fine writer! I want to check out some more work of yours!
Keep the good work up, will ya
-
Good One! Great Story, super funny! Very nice!!
The ending stanza was perfect!
"Never drink the whiskey,
they call Jim beam,
and never live next door,
to a lady with a daughter
named Emma Jean."
-
Emma Jean...
Tell me you didn't give her the car!!! LMAO....That was great...by friend Jack needs to read this one I think. lol
-
Only You hun
James James James you strange man I love and adore
This is bloody hilarious and I do enjoy the moral of the story
♥
Stay safe hun
Love ya
~Manda
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
