Raya was a young girl.
Young at heart, vulnerable at soul.
She had but two faces,
One without, one within.
Without was seen by everyone.
It was Beauty and Peace.
No one could deny it,
It was Love.
Within was well hidden.
It was Scared and Alone.
No one could see it,
Buried under Without.
Raya was a troubled girl.
Lost here, found there.
She had but one problem,
Herself.
Without was a lie.
It was Fiction and Deceit.
No one could tell,
It was Flawless.
Within was aching for Truth.
It was Yearning and Sick.
No one could help it,
Unseen beneath.
Raya was a bright girl.
Always knowing, forever seeing.
She had but one solution,
Light.
Without was in Love with Light.
It was Sharp and Cold.
No one could match the feeling,
It was Bliss.
Within was in Love with Light.
It was Painful and Sweet.
No one could replace it,
Healing Within.
Raya was a weakening girl.
Bleeding out, fading away.
She had but one option,
Death.
A contest entry
- The Best, New or Old by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended April 26, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites? Sure! by xCandieKissesx.
300 points, ended August 29, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
If you read this, please comment. Be honest, I can handle it.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Sad and aching, yet so darn good. This is about ht epretending we all do. We hide our feelings so they won't be scoffed at, we hide our hearts so they won't be laughed at.
"Without was in Love with Light.
It was Sharp and Cold.
No one could match the feeling,
It was Bliss.
Within was in Love with Light.
It was Painful and Sweet.
No one could replace it,
Healing Within"
This is my favorite part. I think of light as something comforting and warm, but there's no doubt that it can be a sharp wake-up call. Again, beautiful poem. -
Without was in Love with Light.
It was Sharp and Cold.
No one could match the feeling,
It was Bliss.
Within was in Love with Light.
It was Painful and Sweet.
No one could replace it,
Healing Within.
Wow!! These lines were brilliantly penned and just filled with imagery! I also like the repitition of Raya. It really explains the story of this person. Great job and good luck!
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Wow
I really liked this poem... I identified with it in certain aspects. I also like the use of the within and without... very good.
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You did a great job capturing that struggle to hide your inner turmoil and present the perfect facade. Unfortunately, too many times this does lead to suicide because no one can keep up the charade forever. Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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i really really like this poem. i haven't read anything in a long time on here that has impressed me much. this poem is an original take on an old idea. and i don't mean that cheapens the meaning, i simply mean that a lot of people feel this pain and hide in a mask as this girl does. but the way you put it and the words you use make it sound completely different than any other way i have heard it put. that is challenging and you pulled it off very nicely.
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