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The Mix

When I need only a glance or two to decipher,
all the what nots you are revealing to me.
This in term shows our ultimate arrangement.
And speaks volumes of our close engagement.

When all your goings command my attention.
And your comings thrill me too much to mention.
That's a clue, that we two have grown ringlets
and that we're lovingly involved; now, off are all bets.

When the tears that you cry lands in my eyes.
And the smiles that you flash mirrors mine.
We've begun the dance of love and of romance,
finding we're both bound in this spicy trance.

When in my dreams I see bubbles, troubles disappear;
I have no more thoughts about it, 'cause you're near.
You with your simple fun laughter; smiley faces,
camps in my heart, lone awe-inspiring hot places.

 

When in my heart you're a fixture, this is now reality.

That we're a part of each other's pure, raw intensity.

Not to mention the times of relating, we roam so free,

you're in to me, me into you, you see; this is intimacy!

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Comments


  • RunningFree
    May 8, 2008

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    A good description of intimacy. My favorite lines are:

    When all your goings command my attention.
    And your comings thrill me too much to mention.

    This couplet made me smile. However, the rhyming seemed to me to be a little forced in some places and without enough flow. For example in this one:

    You with your simple fun laughter; smiley faces,
    camps in my heart, lone awe-inspiring hot places.

    The forced part to me is that the rhythm of the words seems to be somewhat off beat. That might just be me though. However, I absolutely loved the words that you used in those lines.

    Overall, I really liked reading this poem about the mix of two people in love. Thanks for entering this in my contest


  • individuality gold member
    April 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply