Trying to keep up , goals never to achieve.
Playing the game so well, the spell that you weaved.
We should have been closer, through no fault of our own.
A home should have been home, but aimlessly we roam.
The chosen one, the black sheep, giving each one label.
Creating soals, not quite right, envious and unstable.
Why did you make the rules, made us feel we were no good.
You never went that far, on our backs is where you stood.
It took some time to clearly see my face.
Found one true love to easily take your place.
He treats me right, such high respect.
No games, no fear, no neglect.
I made it trough, I beat your game.
For brothers and sister I can't say the same.
They will wander untill, they can see there own face.
Sooner then later, Hopefully life they embrace.
A contest entry
- Intimacy by RunningFree.
525 points, ended May 6, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hope by Alpha Rats Nest.
600 points, ended May 6, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Stun Me by realism-vs-romance.
600 points, ended May 27, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Pre-Write by GypsyEyes.
300 points, ended June 7, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever..just make it good. [astonish me] by borrowing.moonlight.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this doesnt make much sense to me personally but thats ok, to each his own.
thanks for entering -
So familiar... as a kid then seeing it as a foster dad. The labels, the disconnect and separation are so very real. My: hands down' shows another side.
I am pleased to have found this piece. It expressive and hopeful even with the sad beginning. The last two lines are especially touching.
Well done! Thanks for sharing.
james
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They will wander untill, they can see there own face. this is a DEEP poem! and i enjoyed it very much.thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
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This poem is about making it through to the other side. I really like the power in that. The title says it all. Instead of believing yourself to be lesser because of how a parent treated his children, you assign the mistakes to the parent, not the child. Thank you for entering this into the contest.
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This made me sad.
A good thing though, because it means your writing got through to me--I could feel it! -
Strength shines in this piece which makes me absolutely adore it.
I am sure there are many that can relate to this. To the "nothing will ever be good enough" parent...But how you stand here saying Im all grown up now and Im God damn good enough is what really makes this write for me. Good luck to you in the contest.
(great title too)
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Sometimes parents set standards to high, or maybe not high enough. When we are young they cast us in these rolls. Some children never quite get over it, in my family we competed against each other to gain my dads affection. Ruining relationships we could of had with each other after he's gone. One day I opened my eyes and realized I no longer needed it. Thats the day I fell in love with me.
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Very nice, though at parts the rhyming feels a bit forced, at the very least the meaning stays fairly coherent. Parents, and the situations they handle, create the child they bare. I wonder what your parents were like? Mine was decent.
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