Notes pour from the amp
Like blackened tears of the soul
My guitar
The Ouija board
Of my heart
I watch the world around me
But am faced with the trauma
Of being mute
My pain
And horror
And outrage
It goes unheard
Until my music flows
So while I have no tears to cry
No song to protest
No voice to hear
My guitar
The Ouija board
Of my heart
Will sing my tears
And my voice will now be heard...
Author notes
Penny Penguin prepared for prom
See! I read the rules!
Uh, also. I don't play guitar. I was going to go with "Happiness is a Warm Gun" but I couldn't come up with anything. So here we are.
A contest entry
- Options by peaceandpenguins.
700 points, ended May 6, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I found this to be very well done, particularly after I saw in your notes that you don't play the guitar. Good write, poet.
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"My guitar
The Ouija board
Of my heart"
Looking for the notes or words to tell what you really feel?
, A well spoken metaphor that caught my attention 
.
You're use of "ache" is a little troubling because it doesn't flow with the rest of your stanza.
"And I will be muted no longer" Perhaps moving this last line will give you a more abrupt ending, leaving the reader wanting more (this is what i think).
Despite the fact, I enjoyed your poem immensely
Write on !
A.S.
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I (tried) to fix it. Any better?
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