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vineyard symphony

 

 

 

stars ring their symbols low

soft winds wander
through aisles of wet vine

your fingers press glass
like thin strings -


oh, how my skin thirsts
to be the notes

that warm and glide
through summer’s solo

do you feel it?

when my smile fills
the candlelight on your face

do you hear it
through red wine

intoxicated from the volume
of our love?

 

 

 

 

 

 















A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 37 of 37

  • adsaige
    June 9, 2008

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    i'm so incredibly
    jealous of the
    sensuousness of
    the piece. it's so
    beautiful and loving.


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    May 14, 2008

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    what wonderful intermingling of sensations and music. this is just beautifully written. definitely affecting to read. Just wonderful poetry!

    ten


  • LiMarie silver member
    May 6, 2008

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    I love this..from the title on through..I'm trying to get a grasp of what it is I enjoy so much in reading you.. I'd say now that it's that your style is so subtle yet intense..you walk a tightrope and that's so hard to achieve with such grace!


  • AlmostLover
    April 28, 2008
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    amazing

    ;;


  • Daizee silver member
    April 28, 2008
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    Just..just so sweet...


  • Kiran silver member
    April 28, 2008

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    Wonderfully romantic and sensuous. This was a beautiful poem filled with lovely imagery and language.


  • Tam
    April 27, 2008

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    beautifully penned...

    this is lovely beyond my feeble words Tara...
    truly you are a classic poet in every sense of the word!
    you absolutely blow me away...
    every time you write...it is always amazing to me...
    Blessings! Tammy


  • And Hyetal
    April 27, 2008

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    It's been a while since I have read my favorite's poetry, and it's about time I catch up.

    You didn't let me down with this one. I was amazed with every word... This was beautiful.

    ~Cassie


  • zochit2me gold member
    April 26, 2008

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    Damn you!


    You do sensual-soft so well.

    Becky


  • Swan song gold member
    April 26, 2008
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    Wow! yoiu tickled me with a feather just right!!!!


  • Ithica silver member
    April 26, 2008
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    Intoxicating and as full bodied as they come... You are a crafty one... I love it!!!


  • poeticweaver gold member
    April 26, 2008

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    Beautifully Inscribed!

    Such a poem one can ponder upon for awhile.
    So indepth, and beautiful. Leaves traces of hope.
    Even inside the questions. Thanks for sharing, excellent write.

    -Timothy


  • NoIQ gold member
    April 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, see -- earlier today I read a white wine poem of yours that was sensual, and now I read a red wine poem that is as well. That's my idea of a Cabernet Sauvignon, baby! I mean, I REALLY like wines that are the product of, or better yet which produce, "aisles of wet vine."

    Something tells me those are my favorite type of grape producing stems... At least I know I can't get drunk enough on wet vines. Er, I mean wet wines...

    And it's best to pour those wines into the type of glass whose fingers press "thin strings," or at least they press something. And if you're going to add music, you might as well use "notes / that warm and glide." Because I mean, I expect that would be music to my ears.

    Seriously, another really lovely work, Tara.

  • mmook
    April 25, 2008
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    simple ... a beautiful piece of art .... in essence in touch the soul... thanks for sharing


  • Randomly Beautiful
    April 24, 2008
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    Simply beautiful work here.


  • individuality gold member
    April 24, 2008
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  • Jersene gold member
    April 24, 2008

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    'your fingers press the glass
    like thin strings -

    oh, how my skin thirsts
    to be those notes'

    oh, this sensual longing is magnificently penned...I felt these words, the yearning...a perfect 'love' poem


  • Blueskywonder
    April 24, 2008

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    Beautiful imagery... warming romantic content make this a wonderfully delightful piece of poetry.

  • dx d by me
    April 24, 2008
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    Better late than never, Ditto exquisite!

  • dx d by me
    April 24, 2008

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    The opening is simply exquisite! Actually the first 10 lines are just beautiful, beautiful! The pace to me then seems to slow a bit with the imagery. I do not think you need the image of "as my smile fills the candlelight on your face?" it is a lovely line, but to me the intimacy is already there, in bucket fulls, with the mood you've set, the question is moot! Neither, I think, do you need the word "wine", or the "tipsy" image (tipsy seems to bring a less sophisticated thought) and please understand, this is a sophisticated piece. So, something like, [do you hear it/in the flame/do you feel it/resonating through the Red/drowning, intoxicating us/in the song. I do deeply enjoy the sensual texture you've written throughout this piece. The Symphony, the wine, the intimacy, yep! ***disclaimer(my opinion is just that, opinion, and subject to error) Geo


    • tara wilson gold member
      April 24, 2008
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      I reworked the poem to say what I mean now...is this better, or does the word 'tipsy' still ruin the poem?


  • Mari Goes gold member
    April 24, 2008

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    Made feel like drinking a Spatlese, not red, but a white, soft and marvelous sweet wine. Instead will sip your verses...


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    April 24, 2008

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    What a divine poem! So soft and full of beautiful imagery...


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    April 24, 2008

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    nice arrangment of tercets and couplets lead off with a nice single line ... your second and thirds couplets are exceptionally skillful ... you have maintained a light touch without giving up any power ... you have shown and not told .... you have layered and developed your metaphores and then released them in a moment of longing .. that is poetry

    disagree with Namita .... 7 applause


    well done ...


  • Namita
    April 23, 2008

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    I don't know about him, but I hear it; the music of love and poetry... and it is so immensely beautiful 6 applause!

    - namita


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    April 23, 2008
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    wonderful...


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    April 23, 2008

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    Oh Tara, this is so entrancing, so...sweet and flavor full, like a good Port or Shiraz. Best of luck in the contest dear.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • autarky
    April 23, 2008
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    I adore this.

    this is incredible; the way you portray so much emotion so effectively, the way you can tie in music without making it lame. the questions worked well, and I especially loved these lines, which really spoke to me:

    "oh, how my skin thirsts
    to be those notes"

    really superb job. thanks for entering!


  • CaliOkie silver member
    April 23, 2008

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    Passionate, gentle, and warm. This one just seeps into the reader, a little at a time, and leaves a lingering glow. Well done.

    CaliOkie


  • Oisin silver member
    April 23, 2008

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    What a wonderful mixture of nature and tones, symphony of song and a wine makers media, excellent piece.


  • Peteskid gold member
    April 23, 2008

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    i like the voice and the passion here, a voice that is willing to say passionate things and a will to reach for life...so very well done here...PK


  • arafura gold member
    April 23, 2008
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    Wonderful. So sensual and compelling. Play on poet!


  • philosphyofkate
    April 23, 2008

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    this should be a song. something with violins and piano. and the first line could possible be the best first line i've ever read. i want to walk around repeating it to myself. and i probably will


  • Allyce May gold member
    April 23, 2008

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    "your fingers press the glass
    like thin strings,

    oh, how my skin thirsts
    to be those notes"

    You've captured the music and the song and dance of love beautifully

  • Suzanne Dia
    April 23, 2008

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  • misselaineous
    April 23, 2008
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  • aliceramone
    April 23, 2008

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    this is absolutely beautiful...warm passionate imagery with sensual inspiration...seems perfect for the contest you entered...an excellent piece!

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