How I have felt for you for so long.
I have been in love with you all along.
Do not shut me out.
Do not push me away.
Even now I think of you while the day wastes away.
Now this may be sudden even out of the blue but the truth is that I'm in love with you.
Looking at you makes my heart wale huge.
Only I can see the true beauty of you.
Vast amounts of my love are beginning to flow through.
Even now all I really want to say is that I truly Love You.
A contest entry
- My deepest Feelings of within by Abner.
600 points, ended May 5, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Writing, Love, Nature, or something else! (in other words, OPTIONS & points!) by Chocoholic156.
790 points, ended May 29, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i didnt have much time to write it hope its good =)
Comments
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Now this may be sudden even out of the blue but the truth is that I'm in love with you.
Looking at you makes my heart wale huge.
I think that the first part I copied in here doesn't flow very well because it is too long to have a rhythm, you could shorten that, and that would be great. Also, the word "wale", I don't know if you meant to put something else, but I looked up that word, and I don't know how you can incorporrate that into that line. If you can explain in, please, tell me.
Don't get me wrong, I like this poem, its just I try and help people with things I can see in the poems to make them better. Thank you for entering in my contest. and Good luck! -
Aw this is sweet. Short and lovely. Wish you good luck in the contest.
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Short but good. And it is straight to the point. Well good luck
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you are so talented..thanks for sharing i love this piece.
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the feeling gets right to the point
its still vivid
this is a nice writ -
Excellent
I see so much potential in your work. You are a good poet and looking forward to reading more.
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