I've had my eyes on you boy for as long as I can remember,
theirs somthing about you that makes me want you 2 b my winner.
i feel that with you by my side theres no storm that i can't over come,
and no mountain that i can't climb,
and i can cater to you and give you the world on a golden platter just let me love you and give me time.
As your words creep up my spine
And i fall victim to your behind
Theh i day dream of you being mine.
As you left the cute note on my thoughts
Telling me you have a crush on me poetically
But suddnely,
My emotions re edited
All the moments of your smiles
And your silent innocence just
Reveal to me you have unlimited
Destructions to what you want,
As the traces of your lipstick
Had me love sick
And your fluttering eye lashes
Bit me in reality of is this a
Fairy tale dream to
Oneday come true,
Ma i been holding back
How you really make me brand new
So come cruise control under my arms
While this man of cupid poser
Make reality soothing with you.
hey ladies ya boy D Saul So Sexy Hooked This Up
Comments
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Once Again, You Did It!!!
I've neva read nor written anythin like this!! I'm sold!
Keep Em Comin!!
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This is the best one of yours that i have read, i think in general our styles are very different. i didn't enjoy the other two poems you listed as focused on, mostly because of the angle you took in stating anothers potential desire for you and also because of the language you use. I know that poetry from your corner of the world usually manifests itself in lyrics, so its rare that i read something of it, but i think having read this i feel that you could do a lot beter than you have.
It's important to make a clear distinction between three very different writing genres, metrical poetry, free verse poetry and prose. metrical poetry is usaually rhyming and always uses a repatative pattern for line length, like shakespeare's sonnets and like music, with regular beats and line breaks. Free verse poetry doesn't rhyme and has lines of any length, as you have for this piece. and prose means writing in sentances and paragraphs, like the ones you read of mine. If you practice narrowing each piece into one of those catagories i think you can write much better.
Sorry for the lengthy advice, it's only because i think you are worth it. -
so is this for me
just messin with you ma you want me to help you finish it? this was nice
Ya Boi D Finest
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lol yeah i would like that
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