my rays in my sunshine
i wish you were mine
beautiful as a rose
i wish i could hold you close
if you only knew
how beautiful you were but i guess some have already told you too
when you walk you're like the queen of the world
i really and truly wish you was my girl
for if you were
i'd protect you that much for sure
i always want to make you feel like my shining star
you're the type of girl i've been looking for near and far
if you were mine i'd love it, totally
no one else; my one and only
A contest entry
- My deepest Feelings of within by Abner.
600 points, ended May 5, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - If I gave you a box of crayons, would you color me happy? by Breezie.
450 points, ended May 14, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! winner takes all by theflamepoetess.
375 points, ended May 29, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please tell me what you think and do you like it?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i like this althought the flow is a little off the over all meaning was superb best of luck in the contest
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How sweet!! I can relate to loving someone so much, and them not knowing it or fully understanding their worth! What a great declaration of love!! Great job and best of luck in the contest!
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cool
I think its very rippling and I love it!!!! bye,star
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no girl whats to be thought of as a trophie
but the rest of the poem was sweet and flowed nicely.
if i had recived that i would have blushed untill the line "i always want to make you feel like my trophy"
i feel after that line that perhaps you only like me for my beauty and nothing else...do you see my point.?
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thanks very much,, i like the flow and the meaning.
thanks for sharing and entering the contest ill see on judgment day.
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